I had dinner with my niece a few nights ago. (Well, actually, she's my partner's niece since there's no gay marriage. But I'm still Uncle Dave to her, thankfully.) Her parents, married 20+ years, have separated in the past few weeks. Her mom finally realized that the emotional and verbal abuse was too much.
It's a story that, sadly, repeats itself in every state, in every town, day in and day out. But in this particular version, I am so happy to see how this family's three young adult/teen children rallied for their mom and each other without compromising their own principles.
This family is very committed to their Christian faith. I have no issues with that what so ever. But it was never totally comfortable to be around the knuckle-dragger of a dad, henceforth referred to as KD, who is about as neo-conservative as they come. It's a thin veneer that masks his distaste for his gay brother-in-law, let alone the partner of same. Nothing masks his contempt for liberals, Democrats and other people who are damned to hell in his mind.
Over the years, he became a textbook example of the jack-ass hard right religious wingnut. I remember all to well how he monopolized the only TV at grandma's house at a family holiday gathering that coincided with the Clinton impeachment hearings. Sanctimonious, self-rightious, and uncompromising. And KD was always quick to cite God's will as the reason for anything that happened, good or bad. And in keeping with his KD "king of the castle" philosophy, he never missed the chance to order around his wife and kids while never lifting a finger to help in any way. Get the picture?
As the kids grew up, they all maintained their own Christian faith. And they finally realized how their father had essentially been interpreting the bibe and all that stuff totally to fit his needs. And they had enough. The oldest, a son, shook off their yoke, left ultra-conservative Wheaton College (the place that made news by lifting their ban on dancing a few years ago), and went over to the UK to continue school as far from KD as possible. But he made sure to tell his dad exactly why first. Not in a shouting match, but in a calm, cool delivery of the facts as he saw them: Dad, I'm sorry to say I hate you, I don't respect you, and I know my sisters feel the same way. Kindly get out of my life.. Took a lot of guts. Hate is a powerful word, and I fear he really meant it on some level.
The whole thing finally came to a had when the older of the two daughters was told by KD that she couldn't go visit her boyfriend at his school about five hours away. She already had the train tickets, and it had been planned for a while. KD's reason? "I prayed and the Holy Spirit told me he doesn't want you to go." Apparently this was not the first time KD played this card. But it turned out to be the last. Bullshit was called. His daughter, backed up by mom, told him exactly how self-serving and hypocritical he was. They told him how he was an insult to Christianity and was hardly living his life in the way Christians -- real Christians -- do. And they were done with him.
Today they moved out. All three kids, especially the 15-year-old daughter still living at home, are so happy. They're not doing an end-zone dance (thought their mom's family sure is) but they are so obviously in a better place emotionally. And it was their firm belief in their faith -- the true Christianity they practice -- that helped them get to where they are. They stood against their dad's false Christianity.
I'm not really sure why this warrants a diary, except maybe this: I was raised in a Christian household, but I am really not all that religious at all at age 48. Even so, I still respect the core elements of Christianity. And I am happy to see the true Christianity being reclaimed for what it is, taking it away from these seemingly false Christians that claim to be the moral majority but are neither moral nor a majority.
My niece, the one who once asked me if I had accepted in Jesus Christ as my personal savior when she was about eight years old, told me at dinner that her dad's interpretation and practice of Christianity was a joke, and that he was the kind of person who gives Christians a bad name. She wanted to be sure I saw the difference. And I do.
You go girl. And I mean it when I say: God bless you.
Cross-posted on Kerfuffle