This is Socks here. And I am fed up with getting tossed about like a stoooopid fussball when it comes to the Clintons. Let's face it, I was subjected to more House oversight than Bush's illegal wiretaps. Remember in 1995 when Rep. Dan Burton (R-IN) chair of the House government Reform and Oversight Committee investigated whether taxpayers were footing the cost of staionery and postage for the fan club dedicated to me. They weren't, but what a dustup!!
But then the Clintons adopted a dog!! I don't know what possessed them. I certainly tried to show them the error of their ways. Because I never, ever showed one kind claw to the dogster. He was perfect prey. But, but
But he stayed :) And now I ask you what's a self respecting cat to do? I mean moving me from Little Rock to the White House was bad enough. But then they get the dog from hell. So when it was time to leave the White House I said NO Way!!
I am not going with that turd you call a hound.
I wanna go with Betty. She has a nice place in Maryland, and no stoopid dogs. And I am a senior now so you better listen up. It is time to take a little pity on me and put me out to pasture in a nice place. I have pimped in front of countless cameras, walked on a leash, smiled for endless people in all kinda situations. So now I have had it. You wont' ditch the mutt so let me go. And if you get flack for it that's too bad. I have earned a nice, sweet retirement where I can be the center of attention, a celebrity, someone who is plied with treats and little fishie tidbits. And Betty wants me for myself. She has come to love the ole Socks. And I kinda like her too. New Yawk is cold!!! And let's get down, huh!! Hillary wants to come back here. But I defintely don't. My heyday is behind me. I also pilfered some of that postage money to buy toys--little mice that go eeek! Imagine what Ken Starr could do with that one. I can see it now: "Republicans Impeach Socks" for spending postage on squeaking mice. I ain't gonna risk it. Those republicans are Nuts.