News stories that you can expect to see soon:
1. FEMA officials have banned any photos of the bodies of the victims
of Hurricane Katrina. FEMA director Michael Brown explained that this
policy is being put into effect to protect the privacy of the victims
and their families. The news media will be kept at least 5 miles from
any place where bodies are being collected.
(More below the fold)
2. The White House is reporting that contrary to rumors floating
around the internets, Secretary Of State Rice was not shopping for
shoes for herself while the Katrina tragedy unfolded. They say that
she was actually buying a $3,000 pair of shoes to be sent to one of
the victims of the disaster. "I know how much a new pair of shoes
cheers me up", she said. "When my husbaxxx president called on us to
help, I knew just what would do the trick."
3. The White House, in response to the revelation that FEMA Director
Mike Brown and Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, listened
in on electronic briefings given by his staff in advance of Hurricane
Katrina slamming Louisiana and Mississippi--and were advised of the
storm's potential deadly effects defended their lack of action by
pointing out that the briefing talked about the upcoming storm in
general terms and offered no plans or specific steps which needed to
be taken.
4. In answering a storm of criticism based on the fact that it took 5
days for help to reach the affected area, while the press managed to
arrive on scene within hours, White House spokesman Scott McLellan
replied that this just underlines one of President Bush's major
points; "Private industry is always able to respond quicker than the
government. The President will be introducing a measure in Congress
soon to privatize FEMA. A no-bid contract is already being drawn up
to be signed by President Bush which will hand over the Nation's
emergency response responsibility to Haliburton Industries.
5. The White House has announced that they have come up with a plan to
house all of the evacuees by tonight. They say that the people left
homeless by the storm will be housed in jails and prisons across the
country. A spokesman added "According to statistics 80 percent of the
kind of people left homeless already have spent time in a jail or
prison. This will introduce them to an environment in which they are
comfortable and bring a sense of normalcy to their lives."