Chuck Norris, paragon of hyperbole, Texas Ranger, and apparent son of Jor-El, has endorsed Mike Huckabee ... and approved his messages.
While some political prognosticators are holding out for the endorsement of equally mythic Jack Bauer (who has the power to play Jeff Buckley's Grace when a needle runs across his eyebrows), the Norris primary is over, and Chuck is set to elevate a second man from Hope, Arkansas to the White House. Furthermore, the writers strike puts into question the ability of Mr. Bauer to endorse, significantly inflating the importance of the Norris endorsement. The new power couple, "Chuckabee," is working out on their twin Total Gyms in preparation for an Iowa victory.
The Chuck endorsement comes at about the same time of increased attention on Gov. Huckabee from shows such as Meet the Press and Face the Nation. Though some insiders such as Markos of Daily Kos predicted that Huckabee would be a "dark horse" in the Republican field, his campaign has been flagging until recently. In a crowded race with too many people speaking in noun, verbs, and 9/11 and too many candidates who deny scientific follies such as Evolution, Huckabee failed to stand out from the likes of Sam Brownback, Tom Tancredo, and Jesus in a Manger. As somebody put it in some other Huckabee diary:
Huckabee is the real deal and if he gets out of Iowa close to Romney he will be a credible threat for the nomination ... that is a very real possibility.
As of last Sunday, he had broken the twenty percent barrier and had taken over second place in the polls -- leaving him only six points behind Romney. His stand on taxes ... appeals most to movement religious conservatives who are extremely likely to turn out for the caucuses -- while Mitt's supporters seem to be drawn more by ... his positions on particular issues -- Huckabee might actually win Iowa.
If he does, he stands a very real chance of becoming the forty-fourth president of the United States.
Especially if the Dems don't get their act together, fast. (Ed. Note - the meaning of certain sentences may have been changed by Chuck Norris)
Huckabee's strong seconds in the Iowa Straw Poll and the Family Research Council Poll only bolster his strong second place standing in Iowa. And since Mitt Romney may or may not be a Mormon, Huckabee is in striking distance for the GOP nomination and the White House.
So sign me up. Let's get rid of the IRS and cripple the American economy with a consumption tax that increases black market activity! Let's put prayer back in school (though ecumenical prayer never left) ... and add creationism and guns! It's time to kick ass with Huckabee and Chuck Norris!
Never mind that the Republican Party is fragmented into a 4-to-6-way race in Iowa, while the Democrats agree on most things. Never mind that match-ups - even with Hillary - favor Democrats. I'm ready to concede to Chuckabee. There may be a candidate with ten times the foreign policy experience of Chuckabee and a plan for Iraq, but I just can't go up against Chuck Norris. I once had a list of Courage Candidates for 2008, but what is an ActBlue page going to do against a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick? Huckabee's ethical questions? Any journalist who tries to report on how Arkansas taxpayers paid for Mike's trips to Taco Bell is going to be reeling from a chin-fist-punch (they hurt like hell, ask Barbara Bush). Nothing can defeat Chuckabee '08!
Non-snark: It's interesting that Huckabee is doing something funny and original in a campaign that has been mostly devoid of innovation on the Republican side. Is Huckabee a dark horse no more?