yes, today is the Big Game, The Leland Stanford Junior University vs Berkeley State. Did I mention Cal Sucks? The Foldin Bears started fast this year, and were almost number one in the nation until they looked down and realized that they had no clothes. Since then, they have lost several dozen consecutive games by horrific margins. Did I mention that Oski Bites?
The Cal coach (I don't remember his name) has promised a surge, but it is doubtful whether the NCAA will allow 14 men on the field. Kos has offered to help out, but there is no "extreme left wing" formation in the Cal offense.
The Berkeley campus could give a shit about the football team, and pays more attention to whackos sitting in trees than to wide receivers going in motion. The nudists on Telegraph Avenue and diners at Chez Panisse will outnumber CA fans at today's game.
Meanwhile, down on The Farm (founded 1891), the students are more interested in the prospect that REAL co-ed living seems right around the corner. Pant.
Back to football: the Cardinal have been decimated by injuries to their running backs, quarterbacks, interior offensive line, and by elegant methods of torture suggested to Coach Harbaugh by Distinguished Fugitive Don Rumsfeld. Harbaugh posted the following in the locker room:
We will play with the team we have, not the team we want.
Nonetheless, the team has been inspired to overcome these handicaps, by once and future Russian history prof Condi Rice, who overcame her putrid performance as National Security Advisor and was, unexpectedly, named Secretary of State.
Abilities and achievement? ha! Money talks.
was the daring motto chosen by this year's team, none of whom have ever beaten the Foldin Bears. The Cardinal's ace in the hole is the ole earthquake play, in which the entire student body pushes over the side of the stadium onto the Cal bench at the beginning of the fourth quarter.
So sit down and enjoy the insightful sports and political commentary, and feel free to add your CA insults; don't worry, free speech is encouraged. We hope to have Mario Savio as guest blogger.