In examining the recent dust-up surrounding Joe Klein's interpretation of the new FISA bill by serving as stenographer for republican whisper campaigns, I thought I'd do a little investigating myself.
And what I turned up will shock you.
Joe Klein was born in 1946, and as you likely know, was a contributing editor for Rolling Stone in the 1970s and was the author of "Primary Colors" in the 1990s.
Joe Klein is also married, and has two kids.
But a recent examination of Klein's wedding to his current wife have turned up some troubling possibilities for interpretation.
Based on anonymous sources who attended Klein's wedding, which may or may not have been in the 1980s, Klein specifically articulated what my sources are telling me, is a "Donkey Provision."
My sources tell me that this means that Joe Klein is free, at any point during his marriage, to congregate sexually with a donkey.
Now I haven't actually read the wedding vows that Klein exchanged with his wife during his wedding. But if what my sources are telling me is correct, Klein's penchant for farm animal sex could doom his career at Time Magazine, and should give his editors pause.
Bestiality of any sort is damaging, and donkeys are quite difficult to congregate with. Believe me, I know. It would make far more sense for Klein to have attempted a pig or a duck. My sources assure me that both animals are far easier to successfully engage in bestiality with.
I have not contacted Joe Klein to confirm or deny these rumors, nor have I consulted anyone who might argue that his wedding vows simply involved promising to "love, cherish and honor" his wife until "death do us part." I don't see what any of that research would really contribute to my investigation.
Donkey sex is far more lurid. I owe it to you, the reader, to alert you to this troubling development. If my anonymous sources suggest it, then it might be true. And might be true is good enough for me. Because Oprah is on.
The fact that Joe Klein may or may not have included a donkey sex provision in his wedding vows should give all readers pause. These troubling rumors of his "and I can have sex with a donkey at any point if I so choose" vow, are what my anonymous sources are claiming were the intent, if not the literal wording, of the wedding vow in question.
How can the American people go on trusting a donkey sexual abuser, assuming the rumors are true?
That remains to be seen.
But we do know this. Donkey sex is bad.
Did Joe Klein read a vow at his wedding allowing free sexual congress with a donkey?
Some say yes. Some say no.