T'was the night before Chrifsmas and all through Topeka,
Not a creature was stirring, no movement to speak of.
Kansas' school board had voted to teach evolution,
And despite that the world hadn't skipped a revolution.
The children were sleeping, studies not on their mind,
But creationism had not been left completely behind.
No, it was still there in the mind of the Right,
And those bums wouldn't give up without a damn fight.
They'd found a candidate in some guy named Mike,
A minister Darwin surely wouldn't like.
He was asked about just that, and put up his hand,
Responding to some MSM nut's demand.
And while the kids slept, the evil forces plotted,
To include ID in to time which to science was allotted.
Now we all know it's nonsense, if only because,
It blatantly disregards the Establishment Clause.
The kids all awaited their Chrifsmas day gifts,
And the FSM would come to repair all the rifts.
A great flying monster made up of spaghetti,
He's real, much more so than Santa or the Yeti.
On this day he spreads word of Darwin's great truth,
Even as the Christian Right is so darn uncouth.
So the kids can sleep soundly all the while knowing,
In addition to gifts their school classes are going,
To teach Science and Darwin and biology,
Not some bastardization of theology.
For that's the real motive of Intelligent Design,
But for hope in this dark world just look for the sign,
Of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, blessed be he,
Who fights the evil forces of those who can't see,
That there's nothing wrong with us being relatives of apes,
Everything has evolved from bananas to grapes!
So put FSM back in Chrifsmas and make sure to have some,
Egg nog (which tastes really quite good spiked with some rum).
And join one and all, in this great Chrifsmas addage:
I HAVE BEEN TOUCHED BY HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE!