I guess I have too much time on my hands today.
I pulled up Babel Fish and translated Bush's immigration speech into Spanish and then back again into English. The result was surprising, often funny and sometimes insightful. So I decided to share with you the best parts of my endeavor.
I coupled excerpts of the original speech with the corresponding excerpt from the translation followed by my brilliant commentary. Ok, my comments are not all that brilliant and I encourage you to suggest better. I will dutiful edit the best of your comments into the diary.
So, if you have too much time on your hands and are ready for a complete waste of time, read on.
On the streets of major cities, crowds have rallied in support of those in our country illegally.
In the streets of important cities, the crowds have met in the aid of those in our illegal country.
Bush certainly has done his part to make our country illegal. Illegal invasion, illegal imprisonment, illegal torture, illegal spying...well you get the idea.
And in Washington, the debate over immigration reform has reached a time of decision.
And in Washington, the excessive reform of the immigration of the discussion has reached a time of the decision.
Here the translation is more correct than what Bush actually said. The reforms are excessive.
Once here, illegal immigrants live in the shadows of our society.
Once here, the illegal immigrants live in the shades of our society.
You try work out in the fields all day without sunglasses!
Since I became President,
Ever since I made president,
This one I found insightful, because I real do think this is how Bush views the presidency. It is like being made a partner in a firm. Which begs the question, who made him president?
At the same time, we're launching the most technologically advanced border security initiative in American history.
In the same time, we are sending to the initiative the most technological possible outpost of the security of the border of American history.
I think we have reached the border of American history.
The steps I've outlined will improve our ability to catch people entering our country illegally.
The steps that I have skirted will improve our capacity to take to the people who enter our illegal country.
Once again the translation is more accurate. Bush skirts lots of issues.
But when we catch illegal immigrants from other country [sic] it is not as easy to send them home.
But when we take to illegal immigrants of another country [ sic ] is not like easy to send the home to them.
Makes as much sense as the original.
This practice, called "catch and release," is unacceptable, and we will end it.
This practice, call "detent and launching," is unacceptable, and we will finish it.
As a result of these actions, we've ended "catch and release" for illegal immigrants from some countries.
Like result of these actions, we have finished the "detent and we sent" for the illegal immigrants of some countries.
And I will ask Congress for additional funding and legal authority, so we can end "catch and release" at the southern border once and for all.
And I will request to congress the additional financing and legal authority, so we can finish the "detent and send once and for all" in the southern border.
I will leave this one to you, but you have to admit that "detent and we sent" is pretty catchy.
A tamper-proof card would help us enforce the law, and leave employers with no excuse for violating it.
A card of dealing with it force-test would help us to enforce the law, and lets to patterns without the excuse to violate it.
Once again the translation makes as much sense as the original.
And by making it harder for illegal immigrants to find work in our country, we would discourage people from crossing the border illegally in the first place.
And making it harder so that the illegal immigrants find a the job in our country, we would discourage to people to cross the illegal border in the first place.
"Illegal border"? Is Bush going to invade Mexico?
That middle ground recognizes there are differences between an illegal immigrant who crossed the border recently, and someone who has worked here for many years, and has a home, a family, and an otherwise clean record.
That land of in the middle recognizes there is differences between an illegal immigrant whom the border crossed recently, and somebody that has worked here by many years, and has a home, a family, and a file of another clean way.
"whom the border crossed recently". Yep, Bush is going to invade Mexico.
Fifth, we must honor the great American tradition of the melting pot, which has made us one nation out of many peoples.
Fifth, we must honor the great American tradition of pote that melts, that has made us a nation outside much people.
Bush is running the country outside of the people.
When immigrants assimilate and advance in our society, they realize their dreams, they renew our spirit, and they add to the unity of America.
When the immigrants assimilate and advance in our society, make their dreams, they renew our alcohol, and they add to the unit of America.
You are going to end up serving drinks at the country club. "Hey Chiquita bring us another round of Margaritas."
As President, I've had the opportunity to meet people of many backgrounds, and hear what America means to them.
Like president, I have had the opportunity to satisfy people with many bottoms, and hear what means America to them.
Have there been more "reports" than just Jeff Gannon visiting the White House?
Master Gunnery Sergeant Denogean came to the United States from Mexico when he was a boy.
Main sergeant Denogean of the artillery came to the United States of Mexico when he was a boy.
The United States of Mexico is what Bush is going to call Mexico after the invasion.
And when this brave Marine raised his right hand, and swore an oath to become a citizen of the country he had defended for more than 26 years, I was honored to stand at his side.
And when this infant of brave navy raised his right hand, and an oath swore to make a citizen of the country that he had defended for more than 26 years, honored me to be unemployed in its side.
Mr. President, we all long to see you unemployed.
one nation under God.
a nation underneath the God.
No comment needed.