A few months ago I laughed at this Colbert clip about AT&T's latest land-grab.
Today I began at about 10 a.m. trying to cancel my ATT and BellSouth services. I had access to the following assets:
*an internet connection
*a phone connection
*fluency in English
*a serious 'tude
*a car
*a mom
I started out online. You can't cancel your ATT or BellSouth service online. You can, however, chat with a live representative, who will say:
I'm sorry, I can't help you with that. However, I do see that you are eligible for [various expensive ATT services]. I'm glad I've been able to help you today!
After that, I called the number on my phone bill and spent 30 minutes on hold before going out in my car to the ATT storefront. There I talked to two very polite men who informed me that there was no way they could cancel my ATT or BellSouth service.
"Is there anyone who can?" I asked.
They suggested I might drive to Atlanta, a distance of about 300 miles.
Instead I returned home and called the number on my bill again. This time I was on hold for an hour before the connection cut off. I then called the Spanish language number and was on hold for treinte minutos before I had a better idea and called a girl's best friend.
While my mom surfed the internet, I called the state Attorney General's office and asked for a form to be sent to me to file a complaint against ATT.
Then I went back on the web and had two more chats with two more assistants who both tried to sell me things and told me it was their pleasure to have been able to help me.
Then my mom turned up a different phone number from the one in my bill. Write it down. You might need it someday, if you ever hope to get a phone line disconnected.
1-800-222-0300
This time I was only on hold for a couple minutes. Then I got a lady at ATT who apologized politely for all the other stuff and then tried to talk me out of cancelling my phone service, even though I am moving. She actually tried to convince me to keep the line active in the house that I am about to stop renting!
"Don't you have a burglar alarm or something?" she said.
I said I was moving, moving, moving, please disconnect me, thank you.
She suggested a transfer of services, a temporary service, a mobile service, and then finally asked me what I thought was going to happen to me if I was sick, injured or threatened and didn't have phone service?
I told her I was giving very serious thought to never having phone service again but for the time being would she please cancel my service as I was moving.
At this point I had been pursuing disconnection from ATT/BellSouth for more than five hours, nonstop.
Well this went on for a lot longer and then she transferred me to another lady who took all my info again and transferred me to another lady who took all my info again (no, that's not a typo) and tried to talk me out of canceling and into buying some more services from ATT/BellSouth. I replied that I wanted my phone disconnected and expressed my appreciation to her for being a real person and not voicemail.
As it stands now, at 4:04 p.m. of what has been a very long day, I believe that my ATT/BellSouth services are disconnected.
Had I not been fluent in English, had I had doubts about my rights, and had I not had access to the internet and a very happenin' mom, I might well have been connected for the rest of my natural life... and then posthumously, into the ages.
My advice to you: If you hope to have ATT/BellSouth disconnected at any time in the near future, write a letter, get it notarized, and cc: it to your state's attorney general.