Fake news report:
Bush Bribes Electorate, Social Security Privatization Passes
by Buck McChuckaduck, Political Editor
WASHINGTON, DC - President Bush announced today an initiative to gain support for his Social Security privatization plan by paying each American $240,000 for a total of $70,854,022,320,000. He claims that the several trillion dollars price tag for transitioning the system to a privatization plan will more than make up for the budgetary shortfall created by the payout.
"America is prosperous," said Bush at a news conference in the Rose Garden. "America is great. America is rife."
When asked by a pool reporter how a several trillion dollar transition cost will help negate the cost associated with the bribe, Bush said:
"America is great. America is tangy."
Rep. Tom Delay (R) believes Bush will receive overwhelming support for his measure.
"Some say bribery is against the law," said Delay, "But I say those people are un-American. If bribery is good enough for Congress, it's good enough for the American people."
Noam Chomsky published an article on the issue that no one read.