To: Police Detective Steven Caudill
Winchester Police Department
16 South Maple Street
Winchester, Kentucky 40391
Re:
Zombies
Dear Detective Caudill,
I wish to thank you for protecting the students and faculty at George Rogers Clark High School from the threat of zombies. As a concerned citizen I am of course direly concerned about William Poole and his threat to inflict zombies upon this school. School should be about putting brains into children's heads, not about zombies eating people's brains! I applaud your dilligence in protecting our community from the dire zombie threat. I am sure you will receive criticisms like, "zombies are fictional!", but believe me, you have every right to protect our community from zombies. What would those nay-sayers have done if you'd let young Mr. Poole go free and he had in fact made good on his threat to inflict zombies upon the school? Why, then they would have come after you for doing nothing!
Thanks to you, the fine city of Winchester, Kentucky is safe from the horrid zombie threat. I salute you with every member of my body, sir!
Sincerely,
Bad Tux