(Hey all - the following is a crosspost from Green Mountain Daily, and includes a lot of inside-Vermont comments and allusions, but I thought the dKos community might appreciate it anyway...)
Happy Sunday! Well, it had been a few weeks since the last time, so Vermont and Vermonters were overdue to be the target of Bill O'Reilly's scorn. It was a low-grade eruption only - a mere passing mention by Bill-O's standards, but it did remind us that we are never far from his heart.
But the truth is, there are a lot of compelling reasons why O'Reilly should consider moving beyond his "objections" with our lovely state and ponder relocating to the Green Mountains instead!
Here, then, are the top ten reasons Bill O'Reilly should pack up the loofahs and move to Vermont (after the flip):
10. Keith Olbermann doesn't live here.
9. Wouldn't have to pay so much to have ex-Rutland State Senator (and current Rutland City Treasurer) Wendy Wilton or True North radio host Paul Beaudry videoconferenced into your show so they can do their best to insult and smear Vermont before a national audience.
8. Burlington's WCAX is apparently hiring, and no doubt (news director, and local Sunday morning "You Can Quote Me" talk host) Marselis Parsons would jump at the chance to bring in a media professional so practiced at the Fox News "fair and balanced" school of journalism (Freyne from '04: "Sunday's was the fourth show since last September that featured a Dem in the guest chair... Meanwhile, 19 "Quote Me" programs since last fall have quoted Republicans...You do the math.").
7. Your ongoing amusement with Tasers (and "Don't Tase me, Bro" entrepeneureal bumper stickers) are a perfect match with Vermont law enforcement's new you name it, we'll tase it approach (peaceful protesters, dogs, whatever) and could help the push to bring them to even more of our towns!
6. With gay marriage back in the Vermont spotlight, and a lot of Vermonters feeling confused about how and why it's being brought up now, we need you to cut through the discussions and tell us, in your words - "what this gay marriage thing is all about," (apparently, it's all about giving Vermonters the opportunity "to marry a goat." Who knew?)
5. Since we're about as far away from Mexico as you can get in the continental US, there's less chance you'll need to worry about Mexicans "clustering" and "changing the tempo" of your neighborhood.
4. Next time you wants to bash, er, pick a fight with Bill Lippert, you can just drive over yourself, rather than paying a lot of money to send a lackey.
3. All our permissive judges will probably go easy on you the next time you get a sexual harassment charge.
2. Thanks to all the groovy-crunchy people living here, Vermont has Natural Food stores everywhere, which means a steady supply of falafel for all your future dates.
...and the number one reason Bill O'Reilly should move to Vermont...
1. As the whitest state in the union, you won't have to worry about running into so many of those black or brown people (even if some of them can really surprise you from time to time by acting so much like regular human beings).