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Ann Coulter once famously said that we should "invade [the Middle East], kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity.  What a pleasure to watch this Crusader for Christ reject the ascendant leader of the God-in-government movement like a bad replacement liver:

[SNIP]...So this little stretch-marked cornpone is either lying, has a closed head injury, is a complete ignoramus -- or all of the above...[SNIP]

He supports a nationwide smoking ban anyplace where people work, constitutional protection for sodomy, big government, higher taxes and government benefits for illegal aliens. According to my calculations, that puts him about three earmarks away from being Nancy Pelosi.

For Republicans, Huckabee is clearly a walking illustration of the old maxim, "Be careful what you wish for" -- a not-so-great white hope of a bumblefuck preacherman, writing checks to the religious right that no president will ever be able to cash, and falling face first down the stairs every time he's cornered into an unrehearsed response.

The point Counter is clearly trying to shove down the throats of the faithful is that Huckabee's not the man they've been hoping and praying for all along, and she'll cherrypick what she must to paint him as a liberal.  To her credit, she knows that Huckabee can't possibly win the general.  His supporters must be cowed, somehow.

So, in addition to Pelosi, she even compares Huck to Bill Clinton, which I could easily see Romney adopting as a talking point.  Because if the vision of Huckabee unzipping his skin to reveal that he's actually Nancy Pelosi is scary -- even to some Democrats -- then the idea of another eight years of Clinton is certain to give any Republican the vapors:

He confirms for liberal TV hosts their image of conservatives as dorks by bragging about how cool he is because he "likes music." What's he doing -- running for president or filling out his Facebook profile? Arkansas former fatty loves to make jokes and play the bass guitar. Remember what happened to the last former fatboy from Arkansas trying to be "cool" by liking music? I'll take "Stained Dresses" for $400, Alex.

Dogwhistling to the "icky Clenis" crowd, but to be fair, she has a point.  If the last few years of evangelical Republican scandals are any indication, odds are that Huckabee has fellated his share of either young men, close relatives, or farm animals at one time or another.  That's just what they do, apparently.

Hopefully this provides some perspective.  The Republicans are out there tearing each other apart, folks, and not about the finer points.  Within their party are blocs who believe each of their candidates is a flesh eating virus on the body politic.  Whatever result comes from their primary, millions of Republicans will be despondent, and that is something to cheer for.

Originally posted to The Termite on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 09:21 AM PST.

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