WYFP is our community's Saturday evening gathering to talk about our problems, empathize with one another, and share advice, pootie pictures, favorite adult beverages, and anything else that we think might help. Everyone and all sorts of troubles are welcome. May we find peace and healing here. Won't you please share the joy of WYFP by recommending?
Happy New Year everyone! I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions, but perhaps, just perhaps, this will be the year that I give it a try.
I signed up for WYFP duty months ago, so you'd think that I'd have a snappy essay all written up and ready to go.
Umm. No. It's 3:30 and I'm just starting. I've thought about this project a bunch over the last months; written whole meandering essays in my head as I go about my daily business. I've even gotten so far as to start a couple of drafts, but there was never enough urgency under the writing, never enough anxiety simmering up to force the words out in complete sentences and useful paragraphs.
It's been this way forever. I'm the student who staggered into class the morning the term paper was due having done the whole bloody thing in one coffee saturated 48 hour stretch. I'm the musician who races through the house an hour before a gig looking for the extra set of guitar strings that I only got around to buying two hours before - and promptly misplaced. I'm the disheveled woman joining the line with a tattered copy of my license renewal form in my hand 15 minutes before the Dept of Motor Vehicle office closes - on my birthday.
The anxiety from all of this permeates my dreams. Almost everyone I know has the dream where they realize on the day of a final exam that they haven't actually attended a class all term. I have a variation. I dutifully attend every class, complete every assignment, proudly look forward to the final exam because I've done my very best to keep on top of everything. I know the coursework inside and out. I've checked to make sure I know where the exam will be held. My supplies are packed and waiting by the front door. I've set my watch to the clock in the classroom. This time! This time I've done it right! On the day of the final I walk into the correct classroom with a little time to spare, sit in the front of the room, prepare my supplies, take a deep breath, flip over the exam sheet, and am utterly horrified to find that the questions are written ... in German.
My resolution this year? I'll think on it...
What about you? Resolutions? Anxiety dreams?