Ok, I'm trying to figure out which candidate I will support for the office of President of the United States.
So of course I need to go no further than Daily Kos to find out where all these folks stand on the issues of the day, right?
Of course right! No need to go anywhere else! It's all here! Yay!
So I hear that race cards are being played. Now are those race cards of Indy 500 racers? Or perhaps of Nascar racers? Cool packs of cards with pictures of racecar drivers?
But then I get confused, because why would my choice for President of the United States depend on a pack of cards with racecar drivers on them? I mean, I like cards as much as the next fellow, I've been known to collect cards and even play them myself, as in gin rummy, cribbage and even Old Maid! But I really don't see what that has to do with politics, unless the situation we are in now is so boring that we have to play a game of cards in order to keep from falling asleep.
I have also heard that Gloria Steinem is sexist! Now that is really surprising, seeing as she is a famous feminist and pretty much coined the term back in the day. But in any event, why should Gloria Steinem have anything to do with who I choose for President of the United States? Is Gloria Steinem running for office and no one told me? Oh well, I guess this will remain a mystery.
Chris Matthews is an idiot! Well I already knew that.
Of course there are many, many diaries that speak of our candidates' stands on important issues!
Immigration! Rebuilding the Gulf Coast! The drug wars! A woman's right to choose! LGBT rights! Holding the Bush Administration accountable for their crimes!
Oh wait -- there are really not many diaries about that. I believe it's not allowed for the candidates to speak very prominently about issues such as this lest they turn off the average American voter, so they have to speak in code of some kind so that we can decipher it and know they will, once they get in office, do something about these controversial (at least to them and their handlers) issues.
But damn it to hell! I have read NO diaries that tell me how to obtain a secret decoder ring! What hideous negligence on the part of Daily Kos! Meh.
So all nitpicking aside, I am very happy with the quality of the candidate diaries here at Daily Kos. I now realize what I must do in order to be an informed citizen and make an informed decision about who I should vote for in the Presidential primaries.
I need a pack of race cards so I can keep myself awake when it gets boring by playing fun games, and I need a secret decoder ring so I can know the "real" position of these candidates on issues I feel are important but are too controversial to speak candidly about. And I need to remember Gloria Steinem's opinion is controversial and perhaps outrageously sexist, or not, as the case may be.
I am prepared now. Thank you, Daily Kos.