Ornithologists have discovered that bird brains have a closely integrated complex of two billion motor neurons controlling the bird’s left wing in steering, gliding, and maneuvering.
The right wing, however, is controlled by a mere 38 motor neurons, used only in bullying smaller birds, diving to kill something, or stealing food.
The surprising discovery was made while investigating the reasons why right-wing dominant birds behaved so abominably that only dodo birds and gooney birds would associate with them.
The disorder has been named Right Wing Syndrome. In humans, its apparent cause is a genetic reversion of certain neuronal clusters to more primitive pathways deep in the reptilian brain. This shuts off normal supplies of stem cells which would otherwise assist in restoring intellectual development. It often leads to repressed homosexuality and, in extreme cases, a catatonic refusal to think at all, which narcissistic victims tend to glorify as religious fervor.
The ornithologists collaborated with a group of MIT neuroscientists who had earlier discovered that conservatives lack the usual complement of mirror neurons in the pre-motor cortex. Mirror neurons provide meta-conscious awareness that gives normal human beings a warning signal when what they’re about to do might appear to others as laughably stupid.
The findings were presented at an NIH symposium in Cleveland on diseases endemic to creationists and Southern Baptists. Though generally well received, they were vehemently disputed by a team from the Joy Buzzer Laboratory at Bob Jones University and by Garland Roy Trotter of the Pat Robertson Institute of Degenerate Science.
"Professor" Trotter asserted that genetics is just a theory and that motors don’t have neurons anyway.
Cross posted from
The Horse You Rode In On