Hillary Clinton is just part of a grand conspiracy to usher in a political dynasty for the next 50 years, in collusion with the Bush crime family. Hillary Clinton eats babies. Hillary Clinton took my job away. Hillary Clinton is in collusion with the zombies to bring millions of illegal immigrants into our country. Hillary Clinton would keep us in Iraq, attack Iran, and then follow through with attacks on North Korea, Venezuela, Sudan, Congo, Pakistan, and anyone else that even looks at her funny. Hillary Clinton would bribe, steal from, poison, smear, rob, discredit anyone on sight who might possibly be an enemy.
All of this is the cumulation of a grand 20-year conspiracy to bring Bill and then Hillary to power. They do not care for anyone or anything -- they just care about themselves. Oh, and I heard a Rumor that Chelsea is in the wings as well -- it was on an e-mail that I got, so it must be true. Hillary Clinton knew about the impending bombings of our country by Bin Laden, but failed to act to stop it. Hillary Clinton is a jaded, opportunistic person who will lie to the American people to get elected. Why? Because I said so, and my word is sarcosanct.
Hillary Clinton traded on insider information and got rich -- I got that in an e-mail from my best friend, and she would never lie to me. Hillary Clinton is in a secret pact with various wealthy billionaire elitists who have already decided that she will be the next President of the United States. I hear the Bilderbergs and the Trilateral Commission are involved -- it was on some website that I found, so it must be true.
I cannot vote for that lying, opportunistic scumbag -- therefore, I will vote for John McCain. After all, he is the lesser of two evils -- yes, he would appoint John Yoo, continue the Bush doctrine of perpetual warfare, and radically rewrite 200 years of legal precedent through the appointment of extremist judges in the mold of Alito and Roberts, both noted torture apologists. He would siphon off billions more taxpayer dollars to Halliburton and get social programs to do so. But I don't care. Hillary is a lying sleazebag because I said so. My word is all that matters, and if you don't take my word for it, then you are part of the vast conspiracy hatched by rich bankers and elitists.