The GOP announced today that it has a developed a new economic policy. Not satisfied to fight for lower taxes, it wants to eliminate them altogether, then fund government programs through telethons. They believe such a tactic will create more goodwill overall among residents. Why waste resources forcing everyone to pay taxes, when certain people will voluntarily give up their hard earned money to help their fellow man?
The GOP got the idea after watching the Garth Brooks concert telethon to raise funds for California firefighters. Realizing that the need for a telethon to fund basic emergency services might reflect badly on Republicans who had fought against property and other taxes that normally fund such services, the GOP decided to hop on that bandwagon and go with the flow.
Encouraged by the results of the post-Katrina, post-9/11, and Jerry Lewis telethons, the GOP is hopeful that their proposed program, TNT - Telethons Not Taxes, would raise enough money, especially by tapping into a worldwide audience.
With other countries, such as China and Abu Dhabi, recently making multi-billion dollar investments in U.S. financial institutions, the GOP feels it's a strong indication that the U.S. government can finally start recovering some of the money it has granted to developing nations over the years. One GOP representative (wishing to remain annonymous) said, "it's about time these leeches stepped up to the plate to fund us for a change. We're tired of always giving away our tax money but not getting anything in return except unreliable dictators who won't do want we want them to after we give them money."
Although the elimination of taxes would do away with the need for the compliance enforcement arm of tax agencies such as the IRS, those agencies will continue to exist in limited form in order to collect and process all funds pledged via the telethons.
Artists and celebrities who might appear on the telethons would include Chuck Norris, Toby Keith, Kelsy Grammer, Reba MacIntyre, and Drew Carey.