From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
In our continuing series, Yes, We're All Staring at YOU, we hoist Daily Kos front-pager Plutonium Page on the hot seat (it's seven-feet tall---we're nothing if not dramatic) for a 15-question grillin'. My money says she buckles under the pressure...
Where were you born and what did it feel like?
I was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I can't remember what it felt like, but I am told that I didn't like it much.
You currently live in Amsterdam, which I understand is somewhere in southeast Asia. What are the biggest societal differences you notice between America and Holland ?
I feel that there are many societal differences between the U.S. and the Netherlands; the biggest is that religion isn't as prominent. No one says "God Bless My Bicycle", for example. Also, there is a lot of tension regarding immigration issues, far more than the US.
How do Dutch beers compare to American ones?
Dutch beers kick American beers' ASS, man. Unless you're talking about some of the US microbreweries, but they're still not as good. Let the beer wars commence!
Do they really air soft-core porn on the major TV stations there? How cool is that?
Ja... soft-core porn, jaaaa... well, they don't air as much as they used to on late-night TV here, but they could if they wanted to, jaaaa... The German voice-overs make for much comedy gold.
What kind of music makes you feel invincible to the GOP horde?
Mambo Kurt.
Oh my lord, that would make you invincible to anybody. Speaking as a pesky voter, what is your #1 election issue for 2008?
My #1 election issue for 2008 is climate change---environmental issues in general.
Finish this sentence: In the kitchen I make a mean...
Apple Tini.
So what was it like working with nuclear waste?
It was an illuminating experience. Seriously, it was fascinating and scary at the same time. You couldn't pay me enough to ever do it again, though.
What's it like working with such a top-down, profit-driven suit-and-tie corporation as Greenpeace?
Lies make baby whales cry, Bill. But of course I know you're joking. We're grassroots, baby. Non-genetically modified grassroots. Non-violent, direct-action grassroots.
I've been a Greenpeace "webbie" (blogger/cyberactivist), volunteer, and activist for about a year and a half. It's difficult to put into words what it's been like without sounding totally corny. It has been an incredible, life-changing experience; it's something I've dreamed of doing since I was a teenager. The people I've worked with have hearts of gold, and are a good mix of practicality and idealism. What is wonderful in the Netherlands is that the government listens to us; our campaigners interact with members of parliament, so our actions are just the exclamation point on the end of a sentence, basically. We have had some big successes, too.
Oh hell, I'll just give one of those internet link things for people to click. It's about an action we did in November.
What do you do for fun when you're not blogging?
Volunteer at the Greenpeace Bat Cave---the actions team warehouse. Read. Drink beer. Read some more. Lee Child rocks.
What has surprised you most since you started writing for the front page?
The weird email I get. Whether it's wingnuts or just random asshats, the email is always much dumber than I ever thought it could be.
No waffling here: dogs or cats?
Cats.
What are your favorite blogs besides Daily Kos?
What? There are other blogs? Kidding. I like to read Talk Left, because there's great election coverage there. I'm also a big fan of the Nukes of Hazard and Arms Control Wonk. As for pure stupid fun, there's always Go Fug Yourself.
How do you want your epitaph to read?
I have one question left, but I'm late for my back-waxing. Please ask and answer the final question yourself.
You wax your back? Why, yes, he does. I believe everything Bill says.
Cheers and Jeers---including our very serious State of the Union coverage---starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Note: I've decided that if I were a composer I'd write nothing but bongo symphonies.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Super Tuesday: 7
Days 'til Groundhog Day: 4
Number of Myspace members as of 2007: 60.1 million
Number if Facebook members: 22.6 million
(Source: USA Today)
Percent of appeals against health insurers that are won by the patient: 50%
(Source: Parade)
Penalty a restaurant can incur of they serve traditional sangria made with red wine and brandy in Virginia: $2,500 (and loss of liquor license)
(Source: USA Today)
Current temperature in Baghdad: 63°F
Bob Geiger Surrogate Osama Clock: It's been 2,326 days since the president declared he would catch the al Qaeda leader "dead or alive." So, Mr. Bush..."Where's Osama?"
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Dreaming of spring training...
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State of the Union address
CHEERS to liveblogging. It sure beats killing an hour watching a Bush State of the Union alone. Here are some of our real-time thoughts as last night's train wreck unfolded. Please keep in mind that I am a professional, and made the following observations on a closed course with a fire brigade on standby:
First jeer: to Chris Matthews for confusing Jean Schmidt with Olympia Snowe (it's a minor jeer---we've done it ourselves half a dozen times).
Elapsed time since the start of the speech and Cheney falling asleep: 30 seconds.
All these years and Nancy Pelosi still doesn't know how to suck on a mint without looking like she's French-kissing in the back seat of a Buick.
"Earmarks are Satan's spawn!! (Never mind that I approved 'em all for six years without blinkin'.)"
The last time the applause meter registered this low was back in 1896 when Grover Cleveland delivered his last State of the Union in mime.
"We must renew the No School Board Left Standing Bill so that we can keep American children ignorant and chained to test scores instead of learnin'. And Congress must renew the most important part of my education legacy: Ritalin vouchers."
"I believe Americans can produce lead-tainted toys and poisoned dog food as well or better than the Chinese. We can and we will!"
"We must deal with climate change, and the best way to do that is with petroleum-based products. Oil fights the climate change, see? I found this out from that A-rab I was dancin' with in Saudi Rabies. I was gonna teach y'all that dance tonight, but I can see y'all ain't in the mood so forget it. Your loss. I also got to pet a horsie there, which made me a little scared but only a little."
"We have moral boundaries. And Congress must authorize the funds to build an electrified fence across 'em."
"Americans have good hearts. Well, except the ones who have heart disease but no insurance. They're screwed! HehHehHeh. That's humor, America. Ah'm a funny guy. Got that joke from Boehner. I call him Orange Guy."
9:15---My drinking game was too easy: take a swig when he says "the." Wheee! I'm floorblogging!
Praising ... [applause!] ... the ... [applause!] ... troops ... [applause!] ... is ... [applause!] ... the ... [applause!] ... one ... [applause!] ... sure ... [applause!] ... way ... [applause!] ... to ... [applause!] ... get ... [applause!] ... lots ... [applause!] ... of ... [applause!] ... applause.
"Iraq is safe now! So safe, in fact, that I can only fly in to Anbar Province under the cover of darkness. And sometimes the pilot lets me steer the plane. Ah like that. It's fun. They let me wear a pilot hat. But ah bring mah own codpiece."
"More than 20,000 troops [applause!] are comin home. And then the insurgency will start explodin' again. Then we'll put 'em back. See how it works? Kahnda a yin and yang thing, see? Up, down, up, down. Keeps the terrorists guessin', see?"
"Iraqis are taking control of their future. And they've decided that raw sewage runnin' through the streets and three hours of electricity a day is the kahnda future they want. We will not stand in their way of their vision." [applause!]
9:51---Why didn't Michael Chertoff think it was worth putting his dentures in for tonight's speech?
A brief moment of seriousness: He just bold-faced lied about FISA. Oh, screw you, you son of a bitch. You just lied to America. Again.
Bush is most pathetic when he tries to sound smart on events in American history. You can just tell he's reading the words on the prompter, but he doesn't really understand what he's saying. He wouldn't pass a 5th-grade test on the Constitution.
Bush just changed into his jammies. It's over. Somebody wake up Cheney---geeeently.
Well, that was fun. But let's not do it again.
CHEERS to Keith Olbermann. For summing up the speech perfectly by calling this the "presidency of unfinished symphonies." What a waste. All he needed was more cowbell.
CHEERS to droopy eyes and crushed spirits. The best moment of the night, for our money, was when we switched to Fox News after the speech and saw Brit Hume, Charles Krauthammer and Fred Barnes looking about as depressed as three fratboys who found out their keg was dry. There there, fellas...when your idol leaves office you'll always know where to find him: at the Crawford Elks lodge playing pinball.
JEERS to John Kerry in a wig. Kathleen Sibelius---the bright, shining star of red-state Democrats---bored the fur off our dog last night with her droning response. It's called "inflection," lady. Look into it. (And cracking a smile probably wouldn't have killed ya, either.) Thank god next year we won't be the ones in the rebuttal seat.
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The rest
CHEERS to leadership. Well, well, well. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama showed they can actually run for president and chew gum at the same time. Yesterday they showed up in the Senate to vote against, and then for, something called "cloture" on a couple of FISA votey thingees. In laymen's terms (as if "votey thingee" wasn't clear enough), it's a procedural move that, in this case, had the effect of pissing off George W. Bush and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. I understand they'll be back at it today. I hope our team finishes the job by cloturing them into the ground.
JEERS to fools on the floor. Yesterday while watching the FISA vote on CSPAN, I noticed that Maine Senator Susan Collins and Minnesota Senator Norm Coleman were having an intense conversation. If my lip-reading abilities were accurate, I think it went like this:
"So what are you gonna do when you get booted out?"
"I dunno. Probably some cushy board of directorship somewhere. A little lobbying here and there. You?"
"I've always wanted to raise llamas."
It's good to chase dreams.
CHEERS to nail-biting suspense. We're so preoccupied with the U.S. election that we forgot to mention the results from Cuba---the first "vote" since Fidel turned over the reins to that hottie Raul. Anyway, 614 Communist party candidates ran, and 614 Communist party candidates won. Must've been the lawn signs.
CHEERS to the showdown in the sunshine state. Republican voters will go to the polls today and deliver the following coded message to Rudy Giuliani: Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp!!! I wonder if he'll take the hint.
CHEERS to Eau de trollette (via Atrios). Some words of advice from Tanta over at the Calculated Risk blog on dealing with hostile commenters (of which I hear there are one or two in the candidate diaries):
I cannot make anyone stop responding to pointless or nuisance comments. You have to want to restrain yourself, because you understand that the only way to get rid of them is to fail to give them the attention they want. A "troll" is not just someone whose comments you disagree with, or even just a nasty or badly-worded comment. A troll is someone who does not, under any possible set of circumstances, care what you think about him or his comments. He merely wants attention. Negative attention will do. The more you disagree with him, the more he is able to tell himself that he is persecuted and victimized or the only voice of reason or one of the elite few who has the God's-eye view of the world or whatever his current delusion is. If he isn't merely a narcissist who thrives on feeling attacked, he's just some putz who enjoys irritating other people. Therefore, you "feed" the troll by paying any attention to him at all. It does not matter what you say in response. Any response to a troll just encourages the troll.
We have nothing to add.
JEERS to tough-see must-sees. Tonight at 8:30 HBO is airing Baghdad Hospital: Inside the Red Zone:
Dr. Ali Adbul Wahed, a surgeon and one of the few hospital staff members to allow his face and name to be used in the film, describes his experiences in the ER and on ambulance trips to pick up victims, saying, "Whoever is on duty, if they don't have to deal with an explosion or a shooting, we say that they're not really living the real Al-Yarmouk."
Hear that, McCain?
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Three Years Ago in C&J: January 29, 2005...
CHEERS to Iraq's first elections. Look, C&J is as guilty as anyone for busting Iraq's balls over the imperfect conditions for their election. But we hope it goes smoothly for y'all, with a minimum of violence (and ballot fraud). And if it's not too late, we recommend an incentive for anyone brave enough to cast their ballot: a tall cold one. Good luck!
JEERS to playing the race card. George W. Bush says (falsely...big surprise) that African-Americans are getting a raw deal in Social Security because they have a shorter life expectancy. Paul Krugman swats the argument like a pesky fly. If Democrats had made such a claim, the media would have `em hanging from the rafters now. It's good to be duh King.
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Oh, and thanks to Plutonoum Page, C&J just posted its first pic ever---four years, one month and 19 days after this rag debuted. Look, Ma...I'm modern! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"There will be no terrorism intelligence collection gap. But if there is any problem, the blame will clearly and unequivocally fall where it belongs: on Bill in Portland Maine."
---Sen. Harry Reid
1/26/08
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