NEW YORK (February 10)--Presidential hopeful Barack Obama received a record campaign contribution of $6.2 trillion last week, an event that emptied the gold bullion vaults at the federal reserve building on Wall Street and caused a worldwide financial panic.
"There were all these trucks full of bullion driving up Broadway towards Obama headquarters," an observer said. "It looked just like Die Hard III."
Markets calmed somewhat after President Bush announced the bullion had been replaced, thereby saving the world from total economic collapse.
"It's a loan from some people I know," the President told reporters. "Just shut up, okay?"