My father was my hero, but he had one major flaw: he had no affinity for stuff. It simply didn’t attach to him (like it seems to do to me). And once he had quit smoking (at age 82), he had no vices. Buying presents for him was next to impossible. How many shirts and shoes could one person use?
Having spent my youth trying to best my six siblings and 22 nieces and nephews in finding something more interesting (but still useful) for a gift, I resolved to never visit that problem on my loved ones. Fortunately for them, I have collections. I collect cat stuff and amatés by Carlos Tolentino.
But my oldest, and largest, collection is turtles. Turtles in wood and stone and cloth, turtles made from onyx and amethyst and seashells. Watercolors of turtles, turtles printed on fabric. Turtles reading books, turtles playing cards. Turtles doing the backstroke, among other things.
Turtles are my favorite souvenirs -- easy to find, easy to drop in an already-overstuffed suitcase. My collection, coupled with my hobby of building miniatures and my natural aversion to dusting led me to create a home for them by converting a 5-shelf bookcase to a series of vignettes.
It all started with a big ceramic turtle bank I was given for my fifth birthday. It still resides in on "cartoon collection" shelf, along with various stuffed, stitched and stylized turtles. I have a shelf vignette dedicated sea turtles – a bronze one from Fanueil Hall, a coral turtle from Australia, one from the New England aquarium and one from the Florida Aquarium, among many others. Another shelf houses the turtles of the Eastern United States and a fourth is home to the turtles of the Western United States. This group includes my favorite: a small 3"x5" metal sculpture given to me by my favorite artist, Luis Jiménez, when I visited his studio in Hondo, New Mexico. (Ironically, Jiménez, who specialzed in larger-than-life public art, was killed when one of his massive statues fell on him in his studio the summer after I met him. Some day I will get good enough at posting pictures to do an Jiménez retrospective.)
My turtles from Africa and South America live together with the turtles from Vietnam and China in international harmony. The newest wing of the collection is skeletons of real turtles. As you might imagine, turtles make excellent gifts for me. But over the past couple of years, several people have given me real turtle shells, some with the skeletons intact. These paper-thin artifacts are so delicate, they are in stark contrast to the sturdy qualities I have always associated with turtles.
Just as some people become more like their dogs, over the years I have come to identify with turtles. I’m kinda short, and I move kinda slow. I prefer to go around obstacles rather than go over them. And in recent years, when I travel I feel like I’m taking my entire house along. But I usually know where I’m going, and I usually get there one way or another.
So it seemed only fitting that I somewhere along the line I encountered the International Association of Turtles. The Turtles have a very interesting history and membership ritual:
We assume all prospective Turtles own a Jack Ass. On this assumption is the reason for the password.
This password must be given if you are ever asked by a fellow member, "Are you a Turtle?" You MUST then reply "You bet your sweet ass I am." If you do not give the password in full because of embarrassment or some other reason, you forfeit a beverage of his choice. So always remember the password.
As all members are of clean mind to become an official Turtle the person must solve the following riddles with clean-minded correct answers:
- What is it a man can do standing up, a woman sitting down, and a dog on three legs?
- What is it that a cow has four of and woman has only two of?
- What is a four letter word ending in 'k' that means the same as intercourse?
- What is it on a man that is round, hard, and sticks so far out of his pajamas that you can hand a hat on it?
(Correct, clean-minded answers are in the Tip Jar.)
And I suppose it shouldn’t surprise anyone that I also have a certain affinity for another group of Turtles. While I much prefer "Eve of Destruction," I offer this video from the Hollywood á go go because 1) I couldn’t find one of "Eve of Destruction" and 2) it was filmed the year I was born.
If you see a comment that you think is insightful or informative or just incredibly funny, nominate it for Top Comments by sending a link to
topcomments at gmail dot com
Be sure to include your DKos handle, so we can give you credit for the nomination. And now for what I started out to do -- tonight’s Top Comments:
From va daré
Late last night, after I'd left my TC diary, BeninSC wrote a long, thoughtful reply to my query, "Can we do anything to lift the discourse out of the dirt?"
From arielle
hestal nails the Conservative modus operandus in a great post in bonddad’s diary,
To Republicans: Conservatism Has Failed. Deal With It:
Conservatism is a mechanism that is used by certain cunning, ambitious, and unprincipled men to persuade voters to put them in office. These men want to stay in office long enough to raid the treasury, then they want out of office when there is little left to steal.
Then the other side gets in office and does all of the hard, and unappreciated, work of replenishing the treasury. The methods they must use irritate the voters and this irritation is exploited at the right time by the conservatives. The right time of course is when there is money to be stolen.
This cycle has recurred for many years and will continue so long as we have the two-party sytem.
From gizmo59
theRoaringGirl made this hilarious comment in calipygian’s diary The Conservative Civil War rages unabated, which features some of Bill Kristol's most recent delusions.
From horsefeathers
Feel like a good cry? You'll be mingling tears of laughter with tears of frustration when you read this devastating two-sentence summary of the Bush administration by Magnifico in Overnight News Digest.
From highacidity
theark speaks for a lot of us in Sun dog’s Obama Supporters Don’t Work:
Just because I've been on DK all day...doesn't mean I don't have a job I'm ignoring...
From Lashe
bonddad's diary today, To Republicans: Conservatism Has Failed. Deal With It was a motherload of excellent comments. (The diary itself was top-notch, as usual):
- wyvern's comment accurately sums up conservative policy in one sentence: But the diary is spot on: The last 7.5 years have been a classic scientific experiment for conservative governance. They had it all, and implemented it all, and in the end it amounted to a monumental, country-destroying clusterfuck.
- Cambridgemac points out that "Bush gave a trillion dollars to the 100 richest families in the country" then follows up with a comment a comment explaining that a trillion dollars is only an estimate, as you can't actually get a specific an answer to that question because, "Bush discontinued all reporting linked to income level and ... And the govt does not collect or publish data on net worth."
- Since we could all use a little fun to escape from the candidate diary wars: drewfromct suggests a comparison: Putting people who don't believe in government in charge of government is like hiring a bunch of Vegans to operate a steakhouse.
- goheelsgodems joins in with a Barney Frank quote: "Asking the Republicans to run the government is like asking me to judge the Miss America pageant. I could do the job, but my heart wouldn't be in it."
From Builderman
droogie6655321 isn’t buying the "All my supporter had to work line in the Washington Results thread.
From me
Asinus Asinum Fricat has the book on John McCain, including his refusal to apologize for using racial slurs, in clammy c's Hothead. Stubborn. Erratic. Bully.
dash888 tries to identify the the family whose values McCain exemplifies in Jebreport's John McCain's mean, sexist, homophobic joke about Chelsea.
And tonight's Top Mojo, courtesy of BeninSC:
Top Mojo - excluding search-identifiable tip jars and first diary comments (top 30 of each plus ties):
1 Pretty much by bonddad - 325
2 For them, it was all about winning and never by blue jersey mom - 135
3 This is the first by SWicklund - 116
4 Oh They Believe In Government by opinionated - 105
5 Thoughtout the Entire Campaign... by DHinMI - 104
6 Obama's supporters work and never complain by Steven R - 102
7 You make time for what's important to you by jpfdeuce - 93
8 There is no way I would ever believe the hype by vigilant meerkat - 90
9 They don't believe in government by CoolOnion - 87
10 That would be a first for me by democrattotheend - 77
11 I'll repost this for the sake of reaching by Asinus Asinum Fricat - 74
12 BTW, I've Been Sick of Seeing Candidate Diaries.. by DHinMI - 68
13 Its a caucus by Elvis meets Nixon - 66
14 Just because I've been on DK all day by theark - 64
15 I am a white woman over 60 by ronnied - 61
16 What a classy comment from Hillary. by MadAsHellMaddie - 57
17 Thom Hartmann told a great anecdote today by Dallasdoc - 56
18 As a former Edwards supporter who finally decided by seeker - 56
19 Adults for Obama! by Michael Lawrence Gallagher - 55
20 Kudos to Camp Hillary... by grannyhelen - 55
21 May they rest in Peace by Eddie C - 55
22 I think the remaining 25% by Jen K in FLA - 54
23 my winter, outdoor garden in Minnesota by Kayakbiker - 54
24 A prefect Sunday Morning by Eddie C - 53
25 My 84 yr old mother calls him by busternjake - 52
26 I took a week off of work. by Mannabass - 52
27 Take that, Bob Kerrey by Paleo - 52
28 Wow--a National Guard member, and he volunteered by blue jersey mom - 52
29 I was so proud of him by Wizznilliam - 51
30 The Bush Depression by dickinabox - 48
31 The market will correct itself here by gjohnsit - 48
32 You would have gotten away with it too by pseudopod - 48
33 Just as bad as that joke, perhaps, by foxfire burns - 48
Top Mojo - everything included:
1 I'm scared shitless. by exiledfromTN - 599
2 tip jar for those so inclined by slinkerwink - 376
3 Tips for civility? by democrattotheend - 373
4 Pretty much by bonddad - 325
5 Tip Jar by gjohnsit - 325
6 Tips for defeating John McBush by JedReport - 270
7 Kiss the permanent Republican by blue jersey mom - 257
8 have at it by FleetAdmiralJ - 240
9 questions, comments criticisms? by Elvis meets Nixon - 237
10 tip jar by poblano - 229
11 I'm for Obama and I average 50-70 hrs per week, by andydoubtless - 217
12 There is nothing more powerful by kid oakland - 147
13 For them, it was all about winning and never by blue jersey mom - 135
14 I can't understate the importance by clammyc - 125
15 thank you for this diary by allie123 - 116
16 This is the first by SWicklund - 116
17 I like "Yes We Can!!" by Elise - 111
18 Oh They Believe In Government by opinionated - 105
19 Thoughtout the Entire Campaign... by DHinMI - 104
20 Obama's supporters work and never complain by Steven R - 102
21 I'm going to GOTV tomorrow by slinkerwink - 95
22 very cool by thereisnospoon - 95
23 You make time for what's important to you by jpfdeuce - 93
24 Good morning garden bloggers! by Frankenoid - 92
25 Bless and honor them. by noweasels - 90
26 There is no way I would ever believe the hype by vigilant meerkat - 90
27 They don't believe in government by CoolOnion - 87
28 Thank you. by exiledfromTN - 84
29 I've seen that before and liked it, too. by chicago DEM - 82
30 That would be a first for me by democrattotheend - 77