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OK, so you've seen the stories that Republican Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee used to fry up squirrels in an electric popcorn popper in his college dorm room.

So, like everybody else, you're now thinking, "HEY, where can I get some squirrels too?"

Well, there is the shoot-em way with your trusty varmint gun, just like the one Mitt Romney used to use. However, that's not always the best way to get squirrels. All that firepower and you could end up doing a Dick Cheney, blasting someone in the face.

No, the most reliable way to get your squirrel fry is via good old fashioned road kill.

"BUT", you cry out, "road kill is yukky and who knows how long that squirrel has been baking in the hot sun and collecting maggots!". Au Contraire, a French varmint hunter might retort, there is a proven method to getting only the freshest of road kill.

The trick is to drive a stretch of road running through squirrel territory right before sundown. Note the location of all the dead squirrels you see in the road. Then, the next morning right at dawn, drive the same stretch of road. Any new squirrels you find will be fresh and ready for preparation into a tasty treat. As a bonus, you might find a deer, owl, snake, or other meaty critter to cook up as well.

I'll leave it as an exercise for the backwoods gourmet to round up your particular recipe, spices, and side dishes to cook up with your yummy meal.

Bon Appetite.


Originally posted to jtg on Tue Feb 12, 2008 at 04:46 AM PST.

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