One of the saddest things I've ever seen in politics is the trap that has sprung around the ankles of Hillary Rodham Clinton. She could have stepped over this trap, she could have gone a diferent way. But Hillary and I are the same generation, and I think I understand why she ended up in the sad state she is in today, with the only way out being to repudiate all she has carefully done to position herself for yesterday's politics. And the best metaphor I have for this is "I Love Lucy."
Hillary Rodham grew up in a deeply sexist society, and truly first found her voice at Wellesley, where the sotto-voce complaints of smart women educated to become supportive wives for smart husbands turned into a roar of feminist angst. They were all very smart Lucy Ricardos, yearning to have their moment in the spotlight, their time on stage. But they vowed to escape that trap, not to scheme in the background, not to let the men go first and only then take their turn. And yet, that's exactly what happened to Hillary.
If only Hillary could give an honest speech about the frustration of growing up in that era, raised to be a "good Wellesley woman" but on the cusp of the first wave of feminism, we might see the real person who lives behind that famously controlled face. The power of those New Hampshire tears was that the moment reminded us of the unspoken story of Hillary Rodham Clinton, who tried to keep her own name but literally had to give it up for her husband. The story of Hillary was the story of so many women. She tried to set her own agenda as a professional only to give it up for Bill, who would only marry her if he could drag her back to his home state in order to start a political career. Hillary gave up a career on Capitol Hill to live in a state whose culture was the opposite of her own, in a kind of political version of another old TV show, "Green Acres."
When she proclaimed that she really was a feminist during the 1992 campaign, with her comment that she "could have stayed home and baked cookies" instead of becoming an accomplished lawyer, she was protesting too much. She indeed gave up whole decades of her life to the man she loved, a man whose childish appetites betrated her at every turn, a man she forgave again and again.
Hillary was stuck in time, like Vonnegut's Billy Pilgrim, wrenched back and forth between what women were supposed to do in 1960, and what women were expected to do by the 1980's. A soldier in a war for gender equality, she nonetheless kept surrendering, over and over again.
So now, believing that she has played the hand she has been dealt to the best of her ability, like other tragic figures she cannot see what the rest of us see. She cannot present herself to the voters as a genuine person, because the real person is wounded and angry, as well as intelligent and compassionate and caring. She has pretended that she didn't compromise herself as a feminist, while making a career as the woman behind the scenes. Having begun her career in politics as an anti-war crusader for George McGovern, she voted for the Iraq war to keep from being labelled "soft" on defense, and cannot even bring herself to apoligize for it for fear of seeming weak.
The coming generation of women leaders will not have this baggage to drag around. They will be able to stand up for peace without fear of being accused of being too girly to be Commander in Chief. They will not have to scheme behind the scenes to get into the show like Lucy Ricardo. They can run for office showing their honest selves, instead of hiding behind poll-tested slogans.
I can't wait to vote for one of these women. And they are coming up in politics, and will give us all a chance to vote for a woman for president who can win, and inspire, and be her full, honest, best self.