OND: News That Could Only Happen Here. . .today’s peerfearless reporter casts a jaundiced eye on America’s most hap’ning city and environs, the crossroads of four continents, home to everything and everyone under the tropical sun, where, when it’s not some scandal, it’s all Fidel all the time. If it’s going on, it’s going on here.
WARNING! What follows is a toxic take on the news; it may be addictive and offensive to some readers, so be sure to get hooked and enjoy the thrill of revulsion. Schooled as I am by journalists Dave Barry (2008 candidate for president) and Carl Hiassen (author of such novels as Basket Case, Sick Puppy, Tourist Season and Strip Tease), irreverence is the by-word in the following compilation of Important Stuff making headlines along the 25th N x 80th W parallels.
ATTENTION !
Dear Reader,
Next Saturday's OND will be handled by a very capable stand-in (TBA). Apologies to all faithful readers in advance. Also, beginning Saturday, April 5th, I will no longer be a contributing editor to OND.
Baseball season kicks in and most of my Saturdays will committed to sitting under the Miami moon and watching the Marlins take the diamond. Ahh, bliss. I'll miss our weekend get-togethers, all the erudite and (especially) witty comments, as well as the abundant infusions of mojo. It's only fitting now that I leave the stage since. . .
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El Dictador Quits Again -- Vamos a Cuba! Dateline: Miami, 02/22/08. Where it's still all Castro all the time, how about a little local color? Follow the time line of Miami's reaction to last Tuesday's not quite breath-taking news that Fidel Castro announced his retirement.
Um, didn't he kinda do that in 2006, when he had that intestine operation?
--snip--
While the change elicited little interest in Hialeah, Miami Shores, and across much of Miami-Dade, everybody fell into line in the theater of the absurd down on Calle Ocho.
Favorite topic of speculation on various local streets -- Just when you thought it was safe to go back. . . who would want to?
America, you realize, is hazardous to your health. Miami is going to slowly and painfully kill you. So why not make your way to the closest alternative: sunny Cuba?
You won't have anything to worry about down there. There's no such thing as insurance. Kids drink state-sponsored rum. If you play your cards right, you might nab a slow, lazy job as a crooked bureaucrat — perhaps even a white-suit-wearing one.
In the long term, it might not be a bad opportunity: Fidel is no longer in charge. Who knows? Maybe you could help pave the way for Uncle Sam's 90-mile Havana Highway to the McCuban Resort & Casino. It's like California during the gold rush! But instead of striking it rich, you'll strike it ... steady.
President Bush may have spent all that money for his home away in exile in Parguay, but Cuba is really the island getaway close to his heart. You may remember his 2004 bid to pander to Miami Cubans.
. . .the Texas airman third class came to town and made a speech constructively painting Castro as a pimp. He even quoted El Jefe as advertising Cuba's hookers as the "cleanest and most educated prostitutes in the world." He further suggested Castro had turned the entire island into a pedophilic playground in order to fuel "his corrupt regime."
So stick out your thumbs, everyone, and hitch a ride down to Key West where for a few dollars more, you can hitch a boat lift to the last remaining Worker's Paradise in the Caribbean. Heck you may like it so much that you'll end up doing what our Fearless Leader probably wishes he'd done -- buy a few acres of countryside or beach front property. Cheap. Look forward to a luxurious retirement. Just watch out for the exchange rate; Castro (and his likely successor) enjoying raking in the US dollars and the exorbitant fees.
Go see the regatta team of Michelle Geslin and her husband, Peter Goldsmith. Tell them I sent you.
In a rebuke of one of the U.S. government's highest-profile Cuban embargo enforcement cases, a federal judge dismissed charges Friday against two Key West pleasure boaters who organized and promoted sailboat races to the island.
Michele Geslin, 56, and Peter Goldsmith, 55, stewards of a May 2003 race, were indicted in June on charges of acting as unauthorized "travel service providers" by organizing a race for about 15 boats with ports of call in Varadero and Havana's Marina Hemingway.
This time tomorrow, we'll know who Castro's successor is. Guess it's still not time to trot out the infamous "Deathbed Portrait."
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Cubans Suffering Post-Partum Anxiety Dateline: Havana, 02/24/08. Cuba may look quiet and calm on the surface, but underneath it's seething. Nostalgia for the good old days under Soviet patronage is tinged with worry about Cuba spiraling down into a chaotic post-communist Russia scenario.
"It looks quiet, but it's not," said one young Cuban hanging out at a park in Old Havana, where police officers patrolled and an officer stood guard with a dog.
While some Cubans said the police presence on the streets of the Cuban capital had not changed in recent days, others had a different view.
In one block in central Havana alone, there were four soldiers in one corner, a police car in the middle and another patrol car on the prowl. A block away, canine officers in blue and gray uniforms waited in the back of a truck with their dogs.
--snip--
"We know change is coming," said Ray, 58, a local taxi driver. ". . . What we don't know is the form it will take. You worry not for yourself, but for your children, your grandchildren." Ray has great concern that a future Cuba will revert to the pre-Castro days, when he says the streets were "filled with criminality."
"We know very well the story of the new Soviet Union," he said. "We do not want the Russian mafia, drug trafficking."
Poverty now haunts Cuba where the typical monthly paycheck for a state employee is the equivalent of $11.25, stores are largely empty of food and consumer goods, prices are inflationary.
"It doesn't matter what happens on Sunday because nothing is really going to happen," said Hermes, 30, a pedicab driver waiting for passengers in the Vedado neighborhood. "The younger generation here is tired of struggling so hard for nothing. We don't have time to worry about politics. We're too tired because we're working so hard just to get by."
--snip--
"I work in the streets, and when I'm driving around at night, I look at my watch because I can't believe how empty the streets are at such an early hour," he said. "People are lying low."
He added that about a month ago, the government announced a ban on carrying knives. "They've been using that as an excuse to stop people all the time and search them," he said.
The people are pessimistic on the island and in Miami. [See later article.]
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US To Annex Cuba if Bush Has His Way Dateline: Havana, 02/22/02. He's only been retired four days and already he thinks he's Bill Clinton. Fidel is now a commentator on the international scene. Can a Foundation with offices in Harlem be far behind ?
In his first newspaper column since announcing Tuesday that he would step down, Castro opened "ideological fire" against Washington and the candidates for the White House and said President Bush is looking to annex Cuba.
The editorial underscored the new role Castro carved for himself in retirement as international observer and policy critic.
After all, El Jefe may have declined to be president but he's still a member of the Cuban State Legislature and retains first secretaryship of the Communist Party.
Friday's editorial blasted U.S. presidential candidates and European socialists who called for democracy in Cuba. He mentioned Iraq and Afghanistan, the U.S. decision to shoot down a spy satellite in space and took a jab at President Bush's visit to Africa.
"I enjoyed observing the embarrassing position of all the presidential candidates in the United States. One by one, they found themselves forced to proclaim their immediate demands to Cuba, so as not to alienate a single voter," he wrote. "Half a century of blockade was not enough for the chosen few. `Change, change, change!' they shouted in unison."
Castro has his own idea.
"I agree. Change! -- but in the United States," he wrote. "Cuba changed a long time ago and will continue on its dialectical course. `Let us never return to the past!' our people exclaim. 'Annexation, annexation, annexation!' the adversary responds. That's what he thinks, deep inside, when he talks about change."
Let's hope he's right! [Eager retirees/tourists remember above.]
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"Para Cuba, vive esta!" Says Damas de Blanco Dateline: Miami, 02/23/08. Under the heading "the more things change, the more they stay the same" comes news of a celebratory parade in the heart of Little Havana.
Members of the group Damas de Blanco -- Ladies in White -- led a procession south down NW 13th Ave., from Calle Ocho to SW 11th St., chanting, "Para Cuba, vive esta!" [Very loosely translated, "As for Cuba, life goes on (the same way)."]
The color guard waved American and Cuban flags as a group of about 100 people paid their respects.
But the recent change in leadership, with Fidel Castro announcing he will not seek reelection, held little promise to those in attendance.
"There is still no freedom, there is still no democracy," said Ramon Couto. "In order for there to be real freedom, there has to be a real election. The people have to choose."
Locals seem to have little hope that an Obama will emerge as a dark horse candidate in Havana tomorrow.
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"Raulistas" or "Royalists"? Dateline: Havana, 02/23/08. When power is transferred from one older relative to a younger one or the next in line we recognize the tradition of royal rule. Making the jump from Defense Minister to President of Cuba, a job he's held temporarily for about a year, Raúl Castro has plenty of supporters who want to see him continue his hold on Cuba's government.
Five active generals sit on the Communist Party's powerful 21-member Politburo, including two who run the important interior and sugar ministries.
While loyal first to Fidel Castro, many of these men have particularly close friendships with the younger brother. And they are likely to help him consolidate power if he is named president on Sunday following the ailing 81-year-old Fidel's resignation last week.
After all, for appearances to be kept up, the revolution has to be seen to continue. What better dressing to hang about the window than the Revolutionary Armed Forces' favorite son? Everybody knows that to keep a death grip on Cuba, the next leader will have to be supported by the most powerful and popular arm of government -- the army. Who better in their eyes than Fidel's Mini Me?
With the economy being Cuba's greatest woe as we learned up-column, Cuba's armed forces will largely be responsible for effecting any turn-around the country might hope to see. Cuba's future isn't in sugar; it's in tourism. Happy Canadians who flock to Florida will one day be a short hop from Havana if the generals play their cards right and build a few casinos a la the era of Fulgencio Batista.
The armed forces also manage a chain of hundreds of small consumer goods stores and a tourism company that runs more than 30 hotels, with subsidiaries that provide domestic tourist travel by air and land.
Generals who once served as battlefield commanders have become leaders of a new military entrepreneurial class, with personal stakes in Cuba's future.
Raúl and his cronies know which side their pan is buttered on. What Cuba needs most is a CEO of the country, like "The Raúl."
By all accounts, Raul Castro is a highly organized manager with a pragmatic business sense that could lead him to allow openings in Cuba's economy. He hinted as much in a speech last year, saying some "structural changes" were needed. He did not elaborate.
He is known as a warm and jocular man who dotes almost as much on his troops as he does on his family, but also has proven to be extremely tough.
Former Defense Minister and future President's rallying cry should probably be, "Shrink the army to grow the economy!" That could be good news for every Cuban. Except these next guys. . .
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Alpha 66 Cranks It Up to Reshape Post-Fidel Strategy Dateline: Los Angeles, 02/23/08. Those old mercenaries night raiders are at it again. They may be in the twilight of their fighting years, but the Miami resistance group is hoping to jump on the Cuban dissidents' bandwagon for another try.
. . .the surviving founders of the group and their supporters are gathering near Los Angeles this weekend to map strategy for the post-Fidel era. That Raúl Castro may be Cuba's next designated president only makes Alpha 66 more determined to hasten the end of a regime almost half a century old.
--snip--
Ernesto Díaz Rodríguez, the 68-year-old Alpha 66 secretary general and one of the founders, said his organization will open the Seventh National Congress in Torrance, California, with a call "to reach out to the dissidents and become one with them."
The group's interest in dissidents within Cuba reflects an ongoing trend in the Cuban-American community.
"The center of gravity of exile politics is now linked intimately with the opposition and with the emergence of a civil society on the island," said Damián Fernández, vice provost at Florida International University and director of FIU's Cuban Research Institute. "So Alpha 66 is part of this trend."
Anybody but Raúl. Yet, no one else seems to be aware of Alpha 66's intentions.
Díaz Rodríguez said among the dissidents he trusts are Martha Beatríz Roque and Oscar Elías Biscet, two of the most prominent leaders perceived as unwilling to compromise with the Castro government. Biscet, a doctor who opposes abortion, is now in jail. Roque, an independent economist who leads the Assembly to Promote Civil Society, has been imprisoned several times.
Reached by phone in Havana on Friday, Roque said she has nothing to do with Alpha 66. Asked if she would accept the group's offer of support, Roque would say only: "I have no contact with that group, and I do not know what they wish to offer in terms of support."
A little PR work from Information Council of the Americas [INCA] would be in oder.
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They Must Already Be Going To Cuba Dateline: Miami, 02/23/08. If they're not dipping their toes in the ocean here, they must be dipping them elsewhere. Record gas prices, looming recession, overwhelming debt don't combine to spell F-L-O-R-I-D-A V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N.
Florida tourism dipped nearly 2 percent in 2007, the first yearly decline since the 2001 terrorist attacks roiled the travel industry.
--snip--
The 2007 statewide numbers included some good news: Canadian visitors are up 10 percent, thanks to a weak American dollar. Also, more Floridians were choosing to vacation inside the Sunshine State, with in-state trips up 7 percent.
Thank gawd for our Neighbors to the North, eh?
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Here's What I'm Not Telling You
Florida State Board of Education Embraces Darwin -- Sort Of Highly adaptable "scientific theory" joins the curriculum.
No Need To Panic! Iraqi Air Force plane lands on a rural road in Highlands County.
State Farm's New Insurance Policy for Florida Keeping it simple: No new policies.
Sea Turtle Nesting Season Starting Early Leatherbacks all warmed up by Global Warming? They're two weeks early -- dim the lights!
"Giddyap ki-yo ki-yay! Git Along L'il Linebacker" Tasmanian Devil, Zach Thomas, now a "hometown" Cowboy.
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