It was once a source of pride to me as a Democrat that I had within my party a former President, who I admired like my father admired John F. Kennedy, whose campaign was the first I ever worked on, and who was the first President I voted for that actually won; and a former history making First Lady I considered as intelligent as Eleanor Roosevelt and as glamorous and awe inspiring as Jacqueline Kennedy.
Indeed, I was proud that they were fighters. I was proud that they fought back against a party and a movement that I considered at best malicious and at worst downright evil. I was proud, on the most part, for the record of accomplishment this President and this First Lady was able to amass during their eight years in the White House. I was proud that Mrs. Clinton turned her own personal betrayal into her own personal vindication and victory when she, in her own right, won a seat in the Senate.
I suppose, at the time, my pride, and the bunker mentality caused by Republicans determined to bring down my President by any means necessary, no matter how illegal or illegitimate, caused me to ignore some glaring examples of warning signs that would prove to me that, in reality, I, and many others, were merely tools to those I admired. Indeed, the bunker mentality of the scorched earth political warfare of the entire last two decades made me, and others, absolute defenders of the Clintons, for their attackers were so much worse. This absolute defense required blindness to some pretty glaring, and obvious, signs of narcissism on the part of the Clintons.
The prime example, of course, is how President Clinton rescued his Presidency from the ashes of history in 1995: triangulation. He won reelection by betraying many Democrats who invested their hopes and dreams in his Presidency. Indeed, when you think about triangulation, it is supremely insulting. He, and she, separated themselves from the Democratic Party, and then played us against the Republicans to their benefit. Why we Democrats put up with it is a mystery to me now and a source of shame, but I guess we were all so desperate to prevent the Gingrich Republicans from achieving the trifecta in 1996 that we would have done anything.
But over the last three months, the blinders were necessarily removed, for Hillary Clinton, and by extension, Bill Clinton, no longer enjoyed the unquestioned support of the rank and file Democratic Party, for many of us , over the last seven years, came to evaluate the Clinton Years in another light. Sure, the Clintons amassed a relatively good record of accomplishment, but at what cost to the Democratic Party? The party in many states, indeed, in the majority of states, was basically nonexistent. Whole states went years without a Democrat asking for their vote. And, as the evidence shows, the Democratic Party suffered greatly, losing both houses of Congress, the majority in the state legislatures, and the majority of the governorships.
Some woke up earlier than others. Booman and I enjoy an occasional drink at the local DL gathering in Philly, and I never understood his animosity towards the Clintons, that is, until now. So, without the blinders of pride, of battle, and of loyalty, many Democrats were going to view the Clintons in this election as they truly are. The reason for that was the field of candidates assembled for the competition for the Democratic nomination in 2008 was stellar indeed. Joe Biden, Chris Dodd, Barack Obama, John Edwards, Bill Richardson, all very qualified and excellent candidates. In fact, two candidates, Edwards and Obama, were probably better suited for the kind of election 2008 was going to be, and better suited for the moment America, and the Democratic Party, finds itself in.
The Clintons tried to keep those blinders on, invoking the inevitability of Hillary's nomination, playing on the loyalty earned during their time in the White House. But that plan was only going to work if Hillary never lost a race. And when she did lose Iowa, it became clear for the first time that, my God, Hillary Clinton is not inevitable and she may not win this race after all. And thus, for the first time since 1992, and for the first time since triangulation, Bill and Hillary Clinton would get an honest evaluation on whether we wanted them both back in the White House as our standard bearers.
And the results of that evaluation are dire. It is with increasing despair that I have watched two people, whom I respected, admired and invested much of my own personal credibility in, employ the despicable tactics of the party we helped them fight in the 1990's.
Racial code words.
A Southern Strategy.
Lies.
The notion that people, and whole states, do not matter unless they support them.
And now this:
The Hillary Clinton campaign pushed to reporters today stories about Barack Obama and his ties to former members of a radical domestic terrorist group -- but did not note that as president, Clinton's husband pardoned more than a dozen convicted violent radicals, including a member of the same group mentioned in the Obama stories.
"Wonder what the Republicans will do with this issue," mused Clinton spokesman Phil Singer in one e-mail to the media, containing a New York Sun article reporting a $200 contribution from William Ayers, a founding member of the Weather Underground, to Obama in 2001. (Obama's ties to the radical group first surfaced last week in a Bloomberg News article.)
In a separate e-mail, Singer forwarded an article from Politico.com reporting on a 1995 event at a private home that brought Obama together with Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn, another former member of the radical group.
On Saturday, I wrote a diary that I have since deleted in which I expressed my outrage at Hillary Clinton for her false tirade, and in which I angrily declared I would not vote for her in the general election if by some miracle she does become our nominee.
I am not going to do that now, for I cannot conceive a scenario wherein she does become our nominee at this point.
What I am going to say now is much more devastating that saying I am not going to vote for someone.
I am ashamed of Hillary Clinton. I find her now to be an utterly contemptible person, who would do anything and have her campaign say anything to get elected. Her actions, and her husband's actions, define narcissism. It has always been about what they want, and their ambition is the only principle that they defend.
That I wasted whole decades of my life defending them is a something I will never be able to live down, or forgive.