"Debunking" chain emails isn't exactly a fresh topic for a diary, and rarely does any good. "Even when someone is corrected, said [psychology professor Nicholas] DiFonzo, they're unlikely to make a point of sending out a retraction, because it's embarrassing to admit to all your friends and family that you sent them something bogus. The result is that while rumours spread exponentially through networks of people, the information necessary to debunk them does not."(Vancouver Sun)
That said, the practice of debunking/fisking forces us to look for facts and possibly even learn a thing or two. I warmed up this morning learning about oil, NAFTA, foreign aid, international relations, Social Security and fiscal responsibility...
Exhibit A at left is a chain email last encountered with the title "Advance copy of the State of the Union Speech". It is filled with weird logic, false statements and the occasional dog whistle. | Exhibit B at right is a fact-check fisking of Exhibit A. Your contributions are welcome. |
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning. | "Wow! That's such a good idea I must forward this email to my friends!" |
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening. | The "short list" should contain the 25% of the countries in the world: 49 countries of the Coalition of the Willing out of a possible 195. Getting that many countries on board took some effort, so perhaps the short list is of the "really, really willing" who didn't need to be threatened or bribed. |
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS. | In recent years US foreign assistance (aid + loans) has ranged between $28.9 billion (2003) and $39.0 billion (2006). (USAID) Most sources cite the cost of the Iraq War at about $500 billion. (NPP) At that price it would take over a decade to pay off the war with cuts to foreign assistance. If we believe the Nobel Prize winning economist Joseph Stiglitz, the Iraq war will cost about $3 trillion, thus taking about 100 years to pay off with cuts to foreign assistance. (Guardian)
The Social Security Shortfall through 2078 was expected to be about $3.7 trillion, before the President’s prescription drug coverage which will cost another $8.1 trillion. (Total: $11.8 trillion) (cbpp) Total US foreign assistance (aid + loans) from 1946, including the Marshall Plan and WWII post-reconstruction: $1.75 trillion. (USAID) In other words: all foreign aid including LOANS since WWII combined wouldn’t cover even 25% of the post-Bush Social Security shortfall.
So much for saving Social Security by ending foreign aid. |
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. | Israel is the #1 recipient of US foreign aid and is ranked #30 out of 179 in Transparency International's Corruption Perception Index |
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China. |
"I said a long time ago, one of our objectives is to smoke them out and get them running and bring them to justice... We're smoking them out. They're running. And now we're going to bring them to justice. I also said we'll use whatever means necessary to achieve that objective -- and that's exactly what we're going to do." -- President G.W. Bush November 26, 2001.
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I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mez amies. | I'm not sure why Russia would be unhappy about the US leaving NATO, an organization it still views with concern (and sometimes hostility), but I'm sure this would make the next incident a little more difficult to resolve. |
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York |
"A crucial change in enforcement took place in October 2002, with the implementation of the Clinton-Schumer Amendment (named after the two senators from New York State), which gave the City permission to tow diplomatic vehicles, revoke their official parking permits, and have 110 percent of the total amount due paid from U.S. government aid to the offending diplomats’ countries of origin (Singleton 2004)."
[Fisman, Ray & Miguel, Edward (28 April 2006), Cultures of Corruption: Evidence from Diplomatic Parking Tickets. PDF c/o wiki]
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A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. | The top five sources of US consumed crude oil: U.S.A. (24.7%), CANADA (8.7%), SAUDI ARABIA (6.9%), MEXICO (7.6%),
VENEZUELA (5.5%), NIGERIA (5.0%)
The US already pissed of Venezuela by trying to kill Hugo Chavez and we’re pissed off with Saudi Arabia because their people keep trying to kill us. Nigeria will be irritated after we cut off aid because they didn’t support us in Iraq? Is it REALLY a good idea to make threats against Canada and Mexico too? |
Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security. | Posse Comitatus is obsolete. Discuss. |
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now. |
Federal Trade Minister David Emerson hinted that if the North American Trade Agreement were to be revisited, a provision giving United States priority access to Canadian oil would be on the table...
Outside Parliament on Wednesday, Emerson said: "There's no doubt if NAFTA were to be reopened, we would want to have our list of priorities," and hinted that U.S. access to Canadian oil could be one of them.
"Knowledgeable observers would have to take note of the fact that we are the largest supplier of energy to the U.S. and NAFTA has been the foundation for integrating the North American energy market," said Emerson.
Under NAFTA, Canadian oil exports to the United States must be maintained if there is a worldwide shortage or supply disruption, at least to the same level available for Canadian consumers. (Calgary Herald, 28 FEB 2008)
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We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. |
The USGS estimates that [ANWAR] contains a mean expected value of 10.4 billion barrels of technically recoverable oil... ANWR could produce nearly 1.4 million barrels of oil [per day]. (DOI)
US crude consumption is 20,687,000 barrels/day. EIA
10.4 billion/1.4 million/365.25 days = 1.4 million barrels/day for 20 years.
1.4 million/20.687 million = 6.7% of daily consumption
Excellent! The US is now providing up to 30% of its crude oil consumption. Now if only we can cut out the 70% provided by countries which piss us off... |
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget. | Maybe the US should try not to piss off everyone else for a change because if they decide not to play with us, we’re pretty much screwed.
The email gets kinda Socialist at the end, no? Hunger, poverty, homelessness... Good progressive issues. |
To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
God bless America . Thank you and good night. '
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier. | Yes! Learn Arabic! Send your kids to learn Arabic at a high school in Utah. Better than using babelfish for translation. |
Hm. I ended up making a pretty strong case for not opening up NAFTA. Oh well, the floor's open.