The ACLU reports that based on Justice Department public records there are more than 920,000 people who are on the "terrorist watch list", meaning that they are suspected in some way of either planning, carrying out or being connected to terrorism.
Given that there are 303,624,445 people in the United States, that comes out to one in every 330 people in America who are suspected of being terrorists.
There are about 45,000 people who live in my home town. That means that, statistically, the DoJ and its folks who are keeping us safe think that there are 136 terrorists living with me.
Of course, my town is divided into sections with pretty names the developers came up with. My section, named after a tree that can't be found in any yard or park, has about 10,000 residents. That means more than 30 terrorists in my section of town.
My street has about 300 houses, and figuring an average of three people per house (pretty low) that means 900 folks live on my street. That's almost three terrorists right next door to me.
Three terrorists on my street.
I wonder if they are all in the same family? Many times the spouses and kids are shocked that the terrorist was related to them by blood. Remember the Unabomber?
Or maybe it's three different houses with terrorists ... maybe it's those guys who get together and shoot hoops on Sundays at the park instead of going to church. Or those Hispanic women who are always standing around together watching the kids play ball in the street. The plumber with the beard and long hair with that big panel truck that's always closed and locked? Could it be the strange dark skinned folks with accents who are always working on a car in the driveway? Are they really making a car bomb?
What if it's my husband? Could it be him? He likes to wander off into the garage sometimes, and is always on the Internet looking things up. Sometimes when I come in the room he turns the monitor away so I can't see what he's looking at. I always thought it was porn, but maybe it's a scan of the Anarchist Cookbook.
It could be him.
The Department of Justice tells me there's three terrorists on my street.
And I'm gonna find out who they are.
No matter who it hurts.
Because we must keep our country safe.
I hope my daughter forgives me.