Steve Young a blogger on Huffington post has written something I think everyone here should read. I was rasied that men don't cry but I have fought out that, for the belief that every person needs to cry when the pain is so great. After reading his piece my hands shake and I am chocked up.
But why is this hurting so much? why am I asking myself and outloud for a special comment, or someone to voice this pain, this sadness and this anger that is deep in me. Each death is meaningful, each person that passing in this god forsaken war hurts me but last night and today I have been so hurt and so angry that I just need someone with a better voice than my own to say what I am feeling.
To Keith's Credit it was his Special comments that allowed me to find my own voice of anger and of Righteous Indignation. But his is different, this is more than that. Something in this latest "grim reminder" has really hurt me more than I thought it would.
My father was join the army towards the end of the last slaughter of young men and women, Nam. He never was drafted, and he knew it was lost when he went in, but he believed in those that pass before, that he wanted to help them however he could. He never went or I wouldn't be here to type this. He believed in this country and what the men and women in the armed forces did. I got the chance to see the world and living in different parts of this nation, and I learned things about the world around me.
I think about what would have happen if my father had went over and he has been killed. How I disagreed with war because I didn't think we should put our men and women in harms way without a reason. I didn't believe in the WMD and I didn't believe in at 14 of the 15 reasons we have been given for this war. Yet we are still there.
But there is blood on the Dems hands, and maybe my own. I just feel that we could have all done more, to have given more to stop this war. There was not enough people out in the streets, there wasn't enough songs being sung, and wrongs being righted. Maybe we didn't tell our senators and reps enough, maybe we didn't make it clear to leadership in the house and in the senate that they could do no wrong to stop this war. Only do wrong by keeping us in it.
I haven't slept well in two night seeing that number change, but to be fair I don't sleep well most nights. I think of the wife going to the door at 1am and two men standing there in dress uniform. I think of the men that have to go there and tell the story of how a love one has past how they are looked at as the grim reaper himself. All the pain and anger thrown at them begging god why this has happen.
Those solider, the men and women that go to homes of family members in their dress uniforms, telling this family that they may or may not know that their family member won't be coming home. 100, 200 times they have done this, and I am sure it's not any easier for them to do the first or the 50th time.
These men and women believe in the country; someone said "well they signed up for this, they knew the risk" No they signed up be lead responsible into battle as a last not first choice. That the leader ship would be a group of people that would be thinking of them first and everything else second. THESE ARE HUMAN BEINGS... you know culture of life? or is that unborn babies and fuck the rest?
When I first read that we hit 4000, I wanted to scream and shout. I wanted to rail against it all. Now I just want to know someone else believes that we can make this right, that I am not sailing this sea of cheese alone. That we can make them listen once and for all. it's time to end this war, and bring those that have fought so bravely home to a heroes welcome. To do it right. To let them know we care, that we love each and every one of them. This had broken my heart more than it should or maybe, this is how we all should feel that in some way each one of us lost someone very important to us, close to us, even if it isn't the case we should feel that. Maybe Bush has no soul but we do, and we have lose a brother or sister, in this world to his war. We feel the pain, for those that can not or will not.
Maybe we all need to cry a little more hold each other a little longer and think a little more for those that gave all for what they believed in, even if this war was wrong, those men and women were all very much right.
Daniel NC
RSB