FREE! BILLION DOLLAR MARKETING IDEAS!
For Orkin pest control — introduce the B/C Scrub. For $200 ($300 for large-format flat panel TVs), you treat the customer’s television set so that it’s completely free of Bushes and Clintons for eight years.
For newspapers, to reverse the decline in circulation:
Premium subscribers get a B/C-free edition guaranteed to carry no mention or image of a Bush or a Clinton, ever.
For network news, to reverse the shrinkage of audiences, ratings, and revenues: same deal – no Clintons, no Bushes, no problem. Family dinner will be reinstated, and everyone will watch the evening news. We may even reactivate Walter Cronkite.
It’s a classic principle of free enterprise and American marketing know-how: stop making your customers sick at the stomach, and maybe they’ll buy your product.
And the corollary to that principle: we customers will take our dollars where they are decently treated, and right now none of you guys qualify. Except Orkin. They, at least, know a bedbug when they see one.
For seven years our papers and our channels were filled with Karl Rove talking points and Bush administration talking heads, and now they’re spewing out Clinton talking points and dumping them into our living rooms.
Enough is enough.
Oh, yes, and for an extra five bucks, you take McCain prisoner again.