So, tomorrow is another set of primaries, which means we'll be beset with the onslaught of teeth gnashing and underwear soiling that seems inevitable in this protracted primary.
And what has me worried is the real possibility that faced with the 38th "Is Barry Obama the love-child of an orgiastic ménage à trois between Ronald Reagan, Benito Mussolini and "Wheezy" from The Jeffersons?" we at DKos may be too exhausted to respond.
After all, how does one come up yet another original reply to, "Does your cult come with its own special handshake and radioactive soft drink?"
But not to worry... I AM HERE FOR YOU.
Follow me bellow the fold for the SYFPH Automated Troll Response System...
All you need is a pencil, paper, and 15 words of YOUR choosing!
What are these magic words? Well...
- A flightless Fowl
- An Adjective
- An Adjective
- A Noun
- An Adverb
- A Color
- A Flavor
- A Body Part With an Opening
- A High School Level Class
- A Verb
- An Event Of Biblical Proportions
- The Date You Lost Your Mind
- An Adjective
- A Form of Sexual Forplay
- An Animal
No, no, don't read further without your words.
Got them?
Good! Then let's play... SYFPHATRS!
TITLE: Oh, fuck a/an (flightless water fowl)!
COMMENT: Look, I know you don't have anything better to do with your (adjective) life, but if you don't crawl back into the (adjective) (noun) from which you're currently ruining the world for my children, I swear I will (adverb) run you over with my (color) Prius and shove my (flavor) Cappuccino up your (body part with an opening).
Did you take (high school level class)? Can you (verb) delegates? Because unless a/an (event of biblical proportions) happens this primary was over (date you lost your mind) and everything that happens between now and the Convention in Denver is one (adjective) (form of sexual foreplay)!
Oh, and by the way... you SO suck big, sweaty (animal) testicles!
See, and the beauty of the completely free Markos Moulitsas Zúniga approved* SYFPHATRS is that with a little ingenuity and perhaps and online thesaurus you'll be able to fight the good fight all the way into the early hours of Thursday.
So, consider yourself armed and profane.
And to the trolls... be careful... beyond here, be dragons.
*The endorsement of one Markos Moulitsas Zúniga may be vastly exaggerated.