I am a registered Democrat who lives in North Carolina. I have a habit of never answering my phone, I let the caller leave a message on my machine (unless it's my mom, my wife or one of my kids, that is). On Sunday, I received a nice call from Hillary Clinton. Well, a recorded message, anyway. She was quite polite, and let me know that she wanted my vote!
Hillary told me that she was going to work for "working class Democrats like me". Well, that's nice and all, but I'm not a working class Democrat. I make a lot more than what a real working class person makes in a year, although not enough to be above the McCain poverty line. Hillary did not promise to raise my taxes, which I think needs to be done, but I understand that no one has had the guts to promise to raise taxes since Walter Mondale (remember how well that worked?) Quite to the contrary, she's got this screwy idea to lower gas taxes, which would increase corporate profits a whole lot, and save me and my working class buddies maybe 40 dollars each over the course of the whole summer. That could be nearly 50 cents a day! Um, that's OK, Hillary. I know she plans to put a special tax on the gas producers to make up the lost revenue, which is brilliant given that the oil companies would never figure out to just pass the cost back to the consumers! I almost picked up the phone to ask why she was pandering to us on the gas tax thing, but then I remembered there was no real human being on the line who cared enough to speak to me.
She also told me she wanted me to vote for her so she could bring the troops home. Again, I wanted to pick up and ask her if that meant she was going to stop voting to fund the war. Also, I'm quite anxious to find out if she plans get around to bringing everyone home before she nukes Iran, as I think the troops might be at risk of catching some fallout (nuclear or otherwise). Still, nice of her to call.
After Hillary's call on Sunday, I got a call from Bill himself on Monday! Well, a recording of Bill, anyway. He told me I should vote for her because she's the best qualified, has the best plans for America, etc etc. Well, obviously it's nice to back up your spouse and all, but I found it kind of distasteful to have him calling me like that. I mean, if someone were applying for a job with me, and their spouse came to me to talk up their credentials, I'd find that off-putting. Sure, the ol' "my spouse is a great person who's good with kids and dogs" is fine, but do you really expect me to believe that someone's spouse can make an objective judgment about whether or not their loved one is qualitatively better qualified for a given position than the next candidate? Better to have saved your quarter, Bill.
Barack Obama did not get around to calling me. Instead, some real human being called me and asked if I was planning to vote on Tuesday. I said yes, and they asked me if I was considering Obama. Again, I said yes, and they thanked me for my interest, and reminded me not to forget to vote. Now, what kind of campaign is Obama running? Do you seriously think I'd put more weight on a personal call from one of my Democratic neighbors than I would a media-crafted robo-call from one of the candidates? Well, yes, you're right!