All across the nation, millions of ardent Obama supporters are waiting anxiously for Speaker Pelosi and the 209 other Superdelegates to step up to the plate, display some moral courage, and end the self-destructive, expensive, and really annoying continued nomination fight, immediately (if not sooner).
Many have wondered why the Superdelegates are still waiting. They waited past Super Tuesday. they waited past Pennsylvania, and the decisive Indiana/North Carolina split, and Kentucky/Oregon. Some will probably wait until their choices no longer matter.
In trying to understand the strange hibernation behaviour of this herd, we have queried the uncommited Superdelegates anonymously to gather the Top Ten Reasons They're Still Waiting to Endorse their candidates...
SUPERDELEGATE TOP TEN LIST OF EXCUSES FOR BEING GUTLESS WONDERS WHEN IT REALLY COUNTED TO HELP THE PARTY UNITE IN TIME TO DEFEAT JOHN MCCAIN:
- Hoping for the Ambassadorship to Waterbedroomland...
- Waiting for more of those little quiche nuggets at the Montana Victory Party...
- Have a bet with a coworker that if it goes long enough Hillary will start raving and demanding that the votes in all thirteen Canadian Provinces be counted "so that every voice can be heard..."
- Holding off until Simon Cowell does his funny bit about dressing down each candidate...
- Waiting for that elusive political king-maker "Chad" to make his choice known, so it all isnt for naught...
- Secretly pledged not to abandon Hillary until she lands that prestigous five-year contract as a regular on "The View"...
- Still waiting for Bill to hook them up for dates with his 'leftovers'...
- "$482 Million raised by the candidates, and I'm still paying off my kid's braces; what's wrong with this picture?"
- "Are you kidding? At $45 in cab fare from Denver Airport to downtown, I'm not endorsing till I see which candidate's limo comes for me first..."
And, the top reason that 210 spineless Superdelegates gave for holding up the love IS:
- After the 15 minutes of Fame, there has to be a Book Contract in it for holding off this long...
Readers? Your "reasons" why they're waiting?