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George XLIII isn't too different from George III. They both believe that

                           the king can do no wrong.

Some 230 years ago, an anonymous master of snark wrote about how evil, their  own or that of others, loves to poke at rulers with a sharp stick. The following dialog has two characters. The identity of the one whose initial is simply "D" may be speculated upon, but personally I have no clue. It may or may not be the Devil himself.

Not a sermon and by an author anonymous and unknown, this satirical dialogue first appeared in 1782 in Boston, was reprinted in the Frederick-Town, Maryland, Chronicle on June 27, 1787, and appeared yet a third time in Augusta, Maine, in 1797. Much in the spirit in which we have rediscovered it, the Maryland publisher said of the piece, it "just come to hand." The dialogue covers the reign of George III from his ascent to the throne in 1760 to the defeat of Cornwallis at Yorktown and the overthrow of his and the Devil’s scheme to establish the greatest tyranny in the history of the world by first enslaving the Americans and then the native Englishmen.

A Dialog Between the Devil and King George III


D. I doubt not you will equal my ancient servants Nero, Caligula, Borgia, Charles, and others; but you must use great art lest a spirit of liberty should rise among the people and blast your great designs.

G. I will begin with [Iraq, and then Iran]. The idea of enslaving them to the power of [the corporations], and make them tributary to [private interests], suits [our] pride and avarice. when this [is] done, the way will be open.

G.  In time past my counsels have been divided, and that timid goose of a [general] has been dilatory: But I have sent [new generals to replace] him, and push things, [as I have done with judges and attorneys general].


D.  You now begin to do something: But you in your speeches, and your generals in their proclamations, tell too many lies, and commit too many horrid acts of barbarity, for the success of your cause; in these you run too fast; they strike mankind with horror, and unite them against you—there is not a character in Tophet stinks (above ground) worse than yours.

G. You told me to make short work, and I said I had a heart for it: accordingly by perjury and lies, fire and sword, by the gallows & dungeons, freezing and starving, I have been subduing the rebels, and hope to finish the work in [Iraq] soon; for I want to begin with my subjects at home.


D. Where [are your generals? They're bottled up, accomplishing nothing.]  Damn’d work, you’ll stink in hell George!

G. We are all in tears, but what can I do more? I sent fleets and armies, which all my ministers swore were more than sufficient to lay [Iraq] prostrate at my feet.

D. Instead of showing the spirit of a lion, you have the head of a goat and the heart of a sheep; and if you don’t pursue your plan until the work is complete, by the ghost of Nero, I hope the [public] will play [Nixon] with you. If you fail, what a deform’d mongrel puppy you will appear to all the world; neither generosity and benevolence to gratify your people, nor art and spirit enough to make yourself a tyrant—poor dog! you’ll be the scorn of the world, and the derision hell.

G. I wish I had not begun, but there is no retreat. I’ll move every wheel to increase my force by sea and land; I will send commissioners with great promises (which I can easily break when the business is done) and large bribes, and partly by art and partly by force, I may yet succeed. I know my crown will sit uneasy and my life be wretched after this, unless I gain my point.

Originally posted to Lookups on Thu May 29, 2008 at 03:15 PM PDT.

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