I just had a 12-hour discussion (Yes, it lasted off and on for nearly the entire day) with a Hillary Clinton supporter. I went in expecting to hear exactly what I heard:
Hillary has been cheated; the media is sexist; America is sexist; you are sexist; Obama is a dirty trickster; Obama got favorable coverage by the media; Sexism is more prevalent than racism; racism hardly exists; we're all sexists; Hillary is the best candidate; Hillary has done more, and done it better; Hillary would win better; Hillary has more support; I hate Obama; I hate you; everyone who voted for Obama is an idiot; the media makes you idiots; you're an idiot...
Etc, etc. But, what I did not expect to come away thinking is this:
Let them have it.
Let them, for now, believe all of this.
Explanation below the fold.
I came away from my conversation learning only one new thing about Clinton supporters:
They are hurt.
No, it's not logical. Yes, they are rude. Yes, just like most of us in 2004, their support seems to be more about hating their opponent than it is about supporting their candidate.
But it's real. It's a real, honest feeling, and a powerful one: It's the feeling that you've just lost. And at the time, it feels like you will never have the chance to win again.
I heard it all, and it got more and more delusional, more and more desperate, as it went on. And it was when this person, this good friend of mine, began complaining about how Obama won because the media "did not investigate" into Bill Ayers, that the concept finally hit me:
They need an excuse.
They don't want to have lost fairly. They want it to have been stolen from them, and no amount of Rules and Bylaws Committee meetings will make them believe that they lost a fair fight. And they need that belief.
They're saying a lot of dumb things. They're nearly as delusional as Hillary herself. They say they prefer McCain. But I don't think they mean those things. Strike that: They may mean them now, but it's just comfort food. Yes, it's sour grapes.
But we need to let them complain.
It doesn't mean they should be allowed to believe that Barack Obama isn't a legitimate candidate -- all I'm saying is, they want to believe that it's not their fault; that their candidate was a good candidate, and could have won.
It's not malicious. Imagine some of the things most of us said after 2004. We're still saying them.
And we should let the Clinton supporters say them now. Because they'll get over it, most of them. And most of them already have -- just look at the national polls.
For now, though. They need to believe that they did a good job; that they did the best they could.
I'm going to let them.