Over the last few weeks of this primary season, I've watched and noticed alot of things that have set my blood to boiling. And this morning, someone said something to me that really just finally set me off.
Let me explain a few things first here. I'm a single mom of two beautiful (ok, I'm biased I know) children, both little girls. One is 10, one is 7 (although she pointedly reminds me she has less than 2 mos til her birthday). My 10 year old is half AA, and half white, my youngest is as blonde haired blue eyed as you get, and a riot of ethnicities in her, AA not being one of them.
I've tolerated a father who for my entire growing up years, was as racist as you get. When my oldest was born, and I was in the hospital for about 3 months, my mother took care of her. At one point, she asked my father if he'd like to see his granddaughter. He said, there will be no child like THAT in my home. That was my final straw with him, we already had not spoken in 5 years by this time, but to be so blatantly racist against his own and only grandchild at the time, simply stunned me.
Now, we're a decade down the road. My father still hasn't learned time is his worst enemy, but then again, it seems most people haven't learned this lesson yet.
I've watched while race was brought up again and again into this election. Sexism, albeit from Hillary herself, thrown into the pit of labels. And I've come to a startling conclusion: we're all so quick to throw labels on everyone and everything, that simply continue to drive these wedges between us as a people.
For example, here I was this morning, saddened by the news of Denny Hastert, on this post. Because of my comments about Section 8 housing, I was condemned as saying "it's the fault of brown people." Which I never did. But it's so easy today, to just assume that what someone says, is either racist or sexist, that we don't bother to give pause for just one moment and say, did they really mean this?
Now, where am I going with all this? I deal with racism on a daily basis here in my home than most see in a lifetime unless they are AA. Here's the latest in the last school year of what my daughter has brought home to me:
- The kids tell me I'm adopted because my mother is white, and I'm black.
- I have to have my curls straightened Mom, cause the kids laugh at me.
- My friend told me that because I support Barack Obama, I must hate white people.
That's just off the top of my head. So let me break this down for those of you still following along. The first two statements, were made by AA children to my daughter. The last statement, said by her best friend, a white boy.
And here's the big difference: I went to each of these mothers, of the children who had said these things. I was accused of being racist by the two AA mothers, while the mother of the best friend, was horror struck her son would say something so blatantly wrong. And she was quick to point out to him, that he is indeed one of my daughter's best friends.
The next biggest difference: The two AA mothers, one is only 23, the other about 27, both are from downtown Chicago, they come directly from the Chicago projects. I've always welcomed their children into our home, I've always been pleasant to them, and helped them if ever needed. The white mother of the little boy? Her family is as middle class as you get, both father and mother worked for the Frito Lay company in their factory here.
Last year, my youngest was asked to play with 4 AA children, the oldest was a friend of my oldest daughter. As I'm cleaning the kitchen, I'm watching these kids play outside. The youngest of the group was about 5 at the time. They were eaching whipping my daughter with these little beaded necklaces they had made. My daughter, needless to say, comes running in crying. I went out there, and asked why they were doing this to her? The oldest pipes in as the leader apparent, and lies to me directly. I finally told them they needed to go home if they can't play nicely, and I was told by this 9 year old "it's a free country, I will play where I want and HOW I want". I said, does that include whipping my child for your own perverse fun? Her 21 year old mother, ALSO Sec. 8, came to my house later that day accusing me of being racist (when I had NEVER once mentioned color of skin although her daughter told her I did), and threatening to call the police, which I calmly invited her to do and asked her if she'd like to borrow my phone.
Now, all that being said, all these primaries, and this thing with racism and sexism, isn't REALLY about racism and sexism. Sure, we still have people who don't want to see an AA pres, or a female pres. I'm not so blithely unaware of these people. But the way it's been tossed out between people this primary, has made me ill. The only good thing to come out of this entire mess, is my long talks with my oldest about her heritage. Anyone who, as Geraldine Ferraro has done, would throw out the success of a person being based on the color of their skin, have no class. She may or may not be racist, I really don't know, but nor am I going to "label" her as such. She simply has no class to state things so baldly.
I cheered when I saw Sen. Obama during his race speech, for I think it's a speech/talk we're long overdue in this country, which is a whole other diary for another day. However, I'm very saddened that in this day and age, if you say something tacitly wrong (or if you are not explicit in the race you are referring to), you're labeled as either racist or some other name. Do we really, as a people have to resort to pigeonholing people to fit some name? Or are we able, as a country to really sit back, and have an honest conversation without labeling each other?
I ask this, because I'm afraid to actually ask my children what they've learned about this primary. Have we HELPED the racial / sexism dialog, or are we hurting it with tossing labels on to anyone who just simply has no class?
Btw, sorry if I sort of meandered in my rant here, but I was quite upset, and really just needed to vent this out of my system, as I can't say these things here at home, without my children think I'm freaking out ;)