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 title=Convincing evidence exists that Prince Charles has become a Muslim terrorist with plans to overthrow the British Crown. Uneasy should be the head that wears the British Royal crown, which—rumor has it—is at risk of being bonked by a rutabaga.

Charles grew up in England, a country with a large and sometimes violent Muslim minority. His father, Prince Philip, was of Byzantine Greek descent, just a slippery step away from the Middle East. In fact, Philip was born and raised Greek Orthodox. Her Majesty, The Queen has visited myriad places of worship including--just last month in Turkey--a ISLAMIC Mosque! Charles himself has said, when he ascends to the Throne, he will change his title from Defender of the Faith to Defender of Faiths--including Islam!

Charles attended Gordonstoun, a private school with a strong international emphasis and which enrolls Muslims. Gordonstoun’s web site boasts that it provides special religious services to Muslim students and transports Muslim students to Aberdeen Mosque for prayers. Has Gordonstoun shown signs of becoming a Madrassa? Endlessly teased and bullied by classmates, Charles may have taken refuge in religion.

While at Gordonstoun, Charles developed an obsessive fascination for neeps (mashed rutabagas). In Scotland, rutabagas and potatoes are boiled and mashed separately to produce "tatties and neeps" ("tatties" being the Scots word for potatoes), traditionally served with the Scottish national dish of haggis as the main course of a Burns supper. This dish either puts hair on a Scotsman’s chest or takes it off.

To escape hordes of photographers, reporters, tabloid readers, and tourists, Prince Charles would dress up in a burka and sneak out of the grounds. But what started as a prank, an innocent dodge, soon became a compulsion as press coverage increased. Hidden by burka with ample skirts to hide his bent knees, Charles was able to vanish—to frequent militant Wahabi Mosques on the outskirts of London.

 title= What was his later motivation? His late wife, Princess Diana, had been dating a Muslim Egyptian named Dodi Fayed and was "desperately" in love with Pakistani heart surgeon Hasnat Khan, according to her former butler Paul Burrell. Thus betrayed, Charles resorted to win her back by out-sheiking Dodi and Hasnat. Wearing a turban also helped minimize his RATHER angular ears. After her loss, he again took refuge in extremist religion and ascetic vegetarian lifestyle.

Prince Charles also became a patron/attendee of the 21st International Congress of Byzantine Studies, a forum dedicated to the study of the history and art of the Byzantine Empire--including the Middle East. From Greece, it is a short yacht glide away to terrorist camps under cover of darkness.

The most certain proof of his conversion is that Prince Charles has made remarks sympathetic to Islam REMARKS and has played host to Osama bin Laden’s brother TELEGRAPH STORY. Prince Charles has openly declared, "Extremism is no more the monopoly of Islam than it is the monopoly of other religions, including Christianity." This also explains a peculiar absence of Union Jack lapel pins among this crowd.

It has for decades been an open secret that this heir apparent wants to be King but Mum won’t let him. Also, his Mum’s Queen Mother lived to age 102. Thus, he takes refuge in organic vegetables and religion. Prince Charles and his wife Camilla have reportedly eaten rutabagas at regular intervals. They also grow to prodigious royal size and a Tyrian purple color in the Prince’s extensive organic gardens.  

Raw rutabagas are hard—seeming as dense as the cone of an ammunition shell—and could give a serious concussive blow to the head, especially if driven by an arm of a practiced polo player. A blow to the head by a rutabaga resembles that the wound gained through a simple fall. Yet, once the harsh deed is done, the root can be immediately boiled and eaten to destroy the evidence.

According to Wikipedia, excessive consumption of rutabaga is associated with hypothyroidism. Rutabaga and other cyanoglucoside-containing foods (maize, bamboo shoots, sweet potatoes, lima beans) release cyanide, which is detoxified into thiocyanate. However, thiocyanate, at high doses, may cause goiter.

Driven mad by the press hounding, cyanoglucoside toxicity, hypothyroid condition, goiter, guilt, resentment, and decades-long frustration, Charles or Camilla may go bonkers and act against the Crown-—bonk!

Therefore, without further ado, the Queen should clap Charles and Camilla in the Tower of London, torture them with a diet low on cyanoglucosides and heavy in beef—‘tis why the guards are called Beefeaters—and let the couple cool their heels until young William has been crowned King. Thus chastened, Charles may accept his fate.

 title= By the way, there’s equally alarming evidence that Cindy and John McCain have become Muslims. Extremely gullible and bending with the winds, McCain bases his position on who talked to him last. For example, seemingly hypnotized, the McCains believe everything told to them by the likes of Bush, Cheney, the Radical Right, Petraeus, etc. McCain even believed that Bagdad was safe during his last visit to the Middle East, despite being guarded by 100 American soldiers, three Blackhawk helicopters, and two Apache gunships overhead.

Was that show of force just for show? Was the prayer rug that the General bought really a souvenir for McCain? Has McCain OD’ed on rutabagas, too? Still, one must admit that a black burka becomes Cindy because it frames and emphasizes her stunning violet eyes.  title=

Please copy and e-mail this to anyone who has gotten/sent one of those "Barack is a secret Muslim" e-mails. Sheesh! If anyone has any comments about the Hussein middle name, check out LINK. And before any vegans get violent about being waterboarded with beef, tsunami keeps an organic garden and eats vegan breakfasts...but is not above writing stories on celebrities/royals in a shameless ploy to increase blog readership.

Originally posted to tsunami on Wed Jun 04, 2008 at 10:08 PM PDT.

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