I wrote this 4 long years ago, and thought I needed to reread it. So I'm republishing just for the hell of it.
I come from a family that practises the art of sarcasm. We all enjoy a sharp wit and zingy sarcastic retort, and none of us let our feelings get hurt because we understand the context. Hell, we ARE the context.
But when I began trying to socialize with others as a teen, it slowly dawned on me that things I would say would hurt other people's feelings when that wasn't my intention at all.
It's taken me a long time to learn the art of civility.
Learning the art of civility has required of me that I let go of my ego. I feel so witty and sharp when I let go of those zingers that its addictive.
But I care about the world we live in, and I care about the internet dialogue that is so special and unique and so capable of changing hearts and minds if conversation is undertaken with respect and tolerance.
I want a more tolerant world, and I see this type of internet dialogue as having a unique opportunity to shape it. How else can a country girl from the boondocks of Arizona talk about religion with a muslim, or about sexism with a man from India, or about politics with a friend from Buenos Aires?
Even in what should be pretty much an echo chamber, a place like Daily Kos, the disagreements are flying around like the cicadas outside my office window. And thats ok. Thats good, even. Disagreements are part of the real world. And every disagreement is a golden opportunity for dialogue. It's a chance to understand someone else's point of view, and hopefully help them to see mine. Sometimes its a chance to understand why I'm wrong, and I'm always happy to learn that I'm wrong, because then I can fix it.
But I see it this way: No one changes their mind without civility. No one changes their mind if they aren't treated with a little respect. There is just no incentive to see another person (especially on the faceless internet) as anything but an ass if they aren't comporting themselves with some decency.
We're heading into a general election, and it promises to be a wild one. I for one, intend to engage every single Republican voter I can with the most respect and civility I have to offer. I plan to listen, and to try to dialogue the issues instead of the personalities. Hurting someone's feelings will never get them to see things my (Democratic) way, and I'm stowing my sarcastic baggage for the duration.