I have been a strong Obama supporter from the beginning. I didn’t dislike Hillary when the campaign started, but I sure learned to dislike her as the campaign progressed! I told my Republican family that I would vote for John McCain if Hillary got the nomination. (They threatened to tape record me.) I wrote one anti-Hillary rant here which got my first troll rating. I understood that my attitude, and that of others, was hardening as the primaries progressed. That was what scared me about the long primary. I was afraid we would become so set in our battle positions that there would be no common ground by the time the primaries ended.
But, the oddest thing is happening: I’m beginning to like Hillary again. What’s going on here??
As recently as Friday at our Texas Democratic Convention, I was struggling to control myself around the Hillary supporters. I really wanted to yell them at times when they insisted on chanting "Hillary, Hillary" and booing some references to Sen. Obama. Hello?? Your candidate LOST. Get over it already and get on board.
However, I was curious about why they were still doing this after their campaign had lost. I started cautiously trying to speak with some of them. I was not trying to change them, just to understand. I was very hesitant at first, afraid of provoking an argument. But I wanted to understand their position. I certainly heard anger from them, but I also heard a tremendous amount of pain and disappointment. I began to appreciate what should have been obvious to me: I would have reacted in much the same way if Sen. Obama had fallen short.
One of them talked to me about the grief process. She said that she felt sure that she would vote for Sen. Obama in the fall, but it was just too soon for her to embrace another candidate now. It started making sense to me. If her husband had died, I wouldn’t have been saying, "Oh, I know this really nice man you might be interested in. Would you like me to set you up? What do you mean you’re not ready? Your husband is DEAD. He’s not coming back. Move on!"
Then, we listened to Hillary’s speech Saturday morning at the convention. I know that it has been analyzed, rehashed, and dissected by every pundit out there. I don’t know the exact number of times she said "Obama" as compared to the number of times she referred to her own campaign – but I’m sure that the information is out there. What I know is the response to her address at the Texas Convention. For at least a couple of minutes there, we were united in cheering her as she called for unity. An Obama supporter near me was crying in reaction to the speech.
Now I’m reading the diaries about the need for unity. There are the "how to" diaries about how to talk to former Clinton supporters and bring them around to Sen. Obama. We are focusing on changing them – and certainly we do want them to change so that they will support Sen. Obama. However, I’ve started thinking about things like: Do unto others as we would have them do unto us; Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. (I am not a Christian, but I believe that there is some wisdom in the Bible, most of which is found in books of other religions as well.) I’m beginning to think about how I would feel and how I would like to be treated if Sen. Clinton had won the nomination. I’m regretting some of my excesses in my support of Sen. Obama. There are definitely some changes going on in me. I realize that, for me, this unity process is a two-way street. I haven’t forgotten the things that upset me about Sen. Clinton’s campaign, but those things are in the past, just as her supporters’ hopes for her success have to be in the past.
I’m sure that somewhere here on DKOS there is someone with the right degree or training to explain the psychological process going on inside me and the Clinton supporters. Perhaps my comments seem obvious to the rest of you, but I am surprised to find the changes happening in me as I start working for unity within the party.
I believe that there will be those in both the Clinton and Obama camps who do not change their views There will be some Clinton supporters who will only vote for Sen. Obama (if they do) with the attitude described to me by one of the Clinton supporters: Hold your nose and mark whatever says "D". There will continue to be Obama supporters who cannot understand the Clinton supporters and will view them only as obstacles to Sen. Obama’s election. I don't think that we're all suddenly going to sit in a circle and sing "Kumbaya." But I am beginning to believe that our move to unity will have to be a move by supporters of both candidates in order for it to be truly successful.