When I was a child, me and the neighborhood kids would get together and choose sides to play a game, whether it be football or baseball. The field would be the street...if we played baseball the bases were rocks a foul ball would be a ball hit into a yard. If we played football goal lines were driveways and the curb was out of bounds. Two kids were picked as team captains...generally it was always the same two boys, and I was always picked last...then, when I was twelve, the Y started a flag football program, it was for ages 8 to 12, so this was the only year I could play...well, things were not much different...being the smallest boy, and the least athletic, about all I did on the team was pick splinters out of my butt...
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When my son was in Kindergarten, I received a flyer from the Y, they had a flag football program, the leagues were grades K-1, 2-3 and 4-5. My son, an avid Packer fan (or should I say, Brett Favre fan) wanted to play. I signed him up, and then, I got roped in to coaching...I soon realized that I loved coaching, especially in the program through the Y/NFL, in grades K-1 the coach is quarterback, and no score was kept. The best part, as coach I could make sure that every child played every position...and as no score was kept I could teach the game, and not worry about winning. I even had great parents.
Now my sons sixth season (we play a season in the spring a fall) just ended...and what a nightmare it has been...I don’t know if I will be back to coach next season...in my sons fifth season, I was the only coach to make sure every child played in every position...regardless of size, skills or talent...other coaches played the same kids in the same positions. It was a trying season, we only scored two touchdowns, and did not win a game...however, my boys had heart, they never gave up, and best of all, every boy on that team had shown remarkable improvement in skills...and most importantly, they had fun. Now in the sixth season...I was given a co-coach...it was bad enough the guy was a Republican, and that he was rather vocal about his views...he also was exactly the kind of coach I did not want to be...he took over the offense, I was given the defense...on our team of thirteen, two boys played quarterback, three played running back, one at center and one receiver...the rest, got to play offensive line. To ensure everyone played I was rotating every child through my defense...my pre-game speech about the importance of having fun, gone, replaced with a win at all costs speech...kids that were smaller, barely got to play, kids with fewer skills, barely got to play.
These boys are eight and nine years old for cryin’ out loud...when did winning become so goddamned important...when I was a kid playing in the street, we really didn’t keep score...we played just to play...
I should have said something to Y’s sports director sooner, I waited until the end of the season, when a parent complained to me...his son, a child I have coached since kindergarten, refused to play, he did not even want to have his photo taken with the team, why, he never got to play...why didn’t I say something sooner, well, my son goes to school with the other coaches son, they are in scouts together, and both of us are scout leaders...in the same pack...I should have put that all to the side and said something sooner, this man took one child’s joy of playing sports away from him...why, because all he cared about was winning...he was not coaching those boys to teach them the game. He was coaching for his own personal glory...and I did nothing to stand up to him...nothing...I should have said something...to save those boys the pain I felt as a child, being picked last, and riding the bench.
I don’t know if I will coach again next season...I did tell the director of the Y about my co-coach, the director agrees with me, the other coach should not coach again, however, I know, another just like him will be there again next season.
I know, this really is not the forum for this, however, I needed to get this off my chest...and in some ways, this is truly a reflection on American culture and what it has become...kids, don’t get to be kids. It is one thing as an adult playing sports to follow the late Vince Lombardi’s creed. "Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing"...for children, that creed should be "Winning isn’t everything, having fun is the only thing"