This is INEXCUSABLE BY ALL COUNTS, I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW STUPID OBAMA AND HIS CAMPAIGN MUST BE. WE HAVE 4 AND A HALF MONTHS BEFORE THE GENERAL ELECTION AND HE'S messing uP LEFT AND RIGHT. WHY GIVE THE REPUBLICANS MORE FUEL!? WHY!!!!? He must be perfect in every way but any display to the contrary regardless of whether or not it is real or even matters CAN COST US NOVEMBER!!!!!! we cannot afford this, damnit! HOW CAN YOU MESS UP....BREAKFAST!?
According to some imaginary website that would otherwise be irrelevant, probably made by Rethugs or people like Larry Sinclair, it's reported that Obama had breakfast today. Not a true-blue American breakfast though, he had three eggs over easy (why does he have to go odd numbers!?), ham (why does he hate Jewish voters!?!? ) instead of sausage (no pork sausage? is he trying to appease Jewish voters?), no hash browns (is his campaign bigoted against potatoes and Idaho!?) and....Cranberry juice!
Omg why does he have to come across as an elitist!? Where was AXELROD AND HIS TOP CAMPAIGN STAFF to make sure that this didn't happen!? Not only can he not show his support for Florida, a KEY SWING STATE with such a gaffe INEXCUSABLE AND SHOWS HIS UTTER INCOMPETENCE, but he cannot drink the breakfast drinks of us "REAL" Americans. What a snob, I can only imagine all of the GOP commercials: "Not only is he a scary black man who may secretly be a muslim with a mean Christian preacher in an apparent contradiction by the parts of us non-thinking folks at Faux Noise (I envision the commercial starring Sean Insanity), but he isn't black or poor enough to enjoy the breakfast of hard-working Americans. Is this the type of person you want running the country, someone who won't drink OJ?" This is a non-critical time in the campaign where people are trying to get out of primary mode and many even taking a short break from politics as people... oh I don't know, actually enjoy their summer, but a mistake like this at this time can cost us a CRITICAL SWING VOTING BLOC of about 0.125% of people who can never vote for someone who doesn't eat their eggs scrambled.
His campaign and he himself has issued several releases apologizing for this mishap but this isn't enough! He has to apologize to those who cannot eat pork as well as to Florida and anyone who is offended by the lack of potatoes. He has to go to a homestyle pancake house, in Appalachia, and eat a breakfast complete with hashbrowns and TWO--one isn't enough!--TWO glasses of orange juice. And his coffee cannot be decaf, must have more sugar than cream, otherwise his APOLOGY WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED BY US, and I definitely will not approve of this choice of coffee even though I drink mine black.
But why did this come out IN the first place? Some people say that Hillary had moles in his campaign to make a rumored videotape of this event. OMG! She must be trying to sabotage his campaign for a run at the Presidency again in 2012. And it's true, you wanna know why? She isn't condemning the people who are making this into a total brouhaha hoopla of nothing. Those loud-but-not-very-populated sites like hillaryis44 and noquarter (or dime for that matter) are going to run this story over and over again as an attempt to get everyone to vote for McCain against their interests because of his "anti-feminist" stance on the most important meal of the day, which it isn't but they're going to claim it is. Hillary YOU MUST COME OUT AND DENOUNCE THIS! PLEASE!!!!!
/End snark
Okay this obviously was made in satire, but I think it only is slightly hyperbolic in its attempt to replicate in a parodying fashion some of the diaries here that seriously over-analyze something that may not show off Obama as if he had a halo above his head--or even Hillary or anyone else for that matter--but is essentially a non-issue to everyone except those who frequent the blogs and knee-jerk at everything. I know it's a small percentage of all diaries here, but seriously you all need to calm down a little. It's almost officially summer, few if anyone outside of the respective campaigns and their biggest supporters are really in a mood to care about anything political, and hell we still need to get out of Primary Mode. Let us not look at every little thing Obama does as the deal-breaker against all Americans that will cost him the election even if the average person sees this as a no big deal. Let's not look at the lack of Hillary being all over the news mean she's out to "get" Obama. And more importantly, and I know this is hard to accept especially with our media culture but, not every thing that happens is going to help or hurt either candidate beyond a select very few voters who likely will change their minds again and continue doing so a hundred times before election day. Seriously, let's not look at everything with a microscope and assume that it's Armageddon.
And I apologize if this offended a few people since I do have a few specific diaries in mind when I write this, but it's applicable in general to the others I see from time to time and will undoubtedly see much more in the future. This is simply just to point out that getting unhinged over minor things is not helpful to anyone, not Obama and his campaign, not to us, and definitely not to those of us who need to keep our moods or blood pressure moderated. But that said, I hope someone got a few laughs at this. I am surprised no one in the media has even went this route yet, but then again I tend to avoid most shows outside of Countdown (go Keith!).
And btw, no I really don't know what Obama eats for breakfast, but I presume it varies by the day.