I fear that my years of voting, arguing, living, breathing, fighting and just being generally partisan on behalf of the Democratic Party must come to an end at midnight tonight if Barack Obama doesn't don his Superman Cape and Elven Ring of Power and fix everything, exactly like I wanted, by midnight tonight. If he doesn't save the world by the time I turn into a pumpkin, I'm giving my partisan vote to the GOP to show my righteous indignation at all the things I cannot change.
Complex political calculations involving the actual makeup of Congress and the Senate, current US law, political reality, the opinions of other people in the country and the fact that he's simultaneously running for office in a traumatized country, consolidating a party made up of cat-nip addicted pooties, and still being a US Senator are not things that matter to me. What matters to me, RIGHT NOW, is that he saves the world before I'm up for pancakes and eggs in the morning.
If he fails to effect this "change" he keeps running for election on by the time I'm having my coffee, he's obviously not the candidate for me. In fact, I agree with the Clintonistas over at Hillaryis44 and NoquarterUSA: that the best way to support my party during difficult times is to undercut them by voting against my best interests whenever political processes result in political compromises that I don't agree with. It's only logical.
So unless he has an excuse like a kryptonite allergy, Obama had better save the world tonight. There are simply too many complex to intractable problems facing the US today for Obama not to be omnipotent and omniscient.
Update the First: Oh Jebus Frakking Christ in a Sidecar! This? THIS made the rec list today? FYI to everyone: I didn't even have FISA on the brain when I wrote this, I was just commenting on the new Kos diary genre of "If Obama doesn't fix X I'm going to Y!" I call this experience "Where's Waldo at the OK Corral."
This may be the first example ever of being involuntarily recommended!
Update the Second: I am entirely unused to having more comments than I can respond to. Many apologies to all of you who I can't thank, tease, hug and otherwise commune with.
Update the Third, and Final: Good night folks, I'm still rather startled and amazed that this diary has become a lightning rod for the FISA issue. My apologies to those I've offended, I never meant for you to feel mocked. To those who feel that I've illustrated some truths about the situation, I am grateful to for your kind words and understanding.
Have a fine Friday evening, and for the gods' sake, dance a little.