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If Daily Kos was a British blog, a news item today would appear in the diaries here as illustrative of what we love about the quirkiness of your country (whilst fully acknowledging our own).

It is a delightful story brought to my attention by the equally quirky Drudge. It is squeezed in between his accounts of apocalyptic natural weather disasters that he so enjoys recording, from forest fires to twisters that spell the end of life as it is currently known across the great plains of America and from the Great Lakes to the Mississippi Basin.

I am an avid reader of Drudge because I just know he will be the first to tell me of the arrival of the Rapture.  Today, however, he brings to my attention the great Californian initiative for an almighty universal bowel movement and co-ordinated toilet flush as a memorial to the late, great  George W. Bush. I love it, despite toilet jokes normally being regarded in Europe as a peculiarity to be found in a particular genre of German humour.

In fact, although I give my hat tip to Drudge, the story comes from The International Herald Tribune under the headline "San Francisco may name sewage treatment plant after Bush"

Reagan has his highways. Lincoln has his memorial. Washington has the capital, and a state, too. But President George W. Bush may soon be the sole president to have a memorial named after him that you can contribute to from the bathroom.

From the Department of Damned-With-Faint-Praise, a group going by the regal-sounding name of the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco is planning to ask voters here to change the name of a prize-winning water-treatment plant on the shoreline to the George W. Bush Sewage Plant.

How splendid; how very George Carlin and what an excellent way to keep his spirit alive amongst us as we sady miss him at this time. As one of the promoters says:

"Supporters say that they have plenty of signatures to qualify the initiative and that the renaming would fit in a long and proud American tradition of poking political figures in the eye.

"Most politicians tend to be narcissistic and egomaniacs," said Brian McConnell, an organizer who regularly suits up as Uncle Sam to solicit signatures. "So it is important for satirists to help define their history rather than letting them define their own history."

The article in that esteemed newspaper tells us that "The renaming would take effect on Jan. 20, when a new president is sworn in. And regardless of the measure's outcome, supporters plan to commemorate the inaugural with a "synchronized flush" of hundreds of thousands of toilets that would send a flood of water toward the plant, now named the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant"

I would have preferred the Tribune to have swallowed deeply and called it by its full and proper name "The Synchronised Bush Flush",  but I will not quibble with a city that can name its facility for sorting out its turds and excrement from its recycled drinking water "the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant". (Promoted properly, a site so named could become a mecca for English tourists, whose ability to understand what is so beautiful about your country hardly lifts above Miami and Disneyland.)

So I love this idea. It is not this alone, however, that has caused me such delight this wet Welsh morning across the Pond. It is that splendid and unique blend of American psychobabble that you have developed. It has become as much a part of our language over here as it is part of your own. Expressions ranging from "obtaining closure" to "I'm stuck at denial".

So I love the quasi irony of the closing statement by the magnificent mentors of how we can get out of denial and have real closure to these last eight years of constipation:

"It's a way of doing something physical that's mentally freeing," said Stacey Reineccius, 45, a supporter of the plan. "It's a weird thing, but it's true."

Thank you America. Once again you have enlightened us over here as to how to cope with modern life. You, who brought us the comfort of soft tissue to replace our hard sheets of single ply toilet paper, who brought us the McDonald's Big Burger to have something worth releasing into the watery depths of our ceramic water closets, now bring us a refined, a more pronounced and truly freeing Big Bowel Moment. The George W. Bush Flush!

Bless you and thank you all. You gave us the pain and now you give us the cure. I shall never defecate again in the same way. It now becomes a celebration and one in which I am proud to join you in honour of the special alliance between our two countries.

Originally posted to Welshman on Thu Jun 26, 2008 at 06:34 AM PDT.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Dedicated to my friends here... (21+ / 0-)

    ...or at least to those who still remember me.

    I'm still around but the nearer I get to leaving this life the more I see what truly matters. Like regularity in going to the John.

  •  It's great isn't it (4+ / 0-)

    GW wanted to create a legacy and he  

    •  Oh my God, no! Otherwise we'll be sorry...! (5+ / 0-)

      Sewage treatment plants are an essential part of the infrastructure of sanitation, which in turn is the front line of defense against epidemic disease.  

      While it is true that George Bush is the King Midas of Poo (everything he touches turns to poo), though not literally the "Lord of the Flies" (though behaviorally, perhaps), we should not name the sewage plant after him.  

      If we do so, it will be a curse: the plant will forever creak and groan, overflow and underperform, failing to filter feces or purify pee, and thereby failing to protect San Franciscans from disease as surely as its namesake failed to protect Americans from Al Qaeda's attack.  

      Better to name the plant after a different George:  Colonel George Waring, of the US Army Engineers in the mid to late 1800s.  He was the father of municipal sanitation in the US, and his works saved countless numbers of lives.  

      It would be a name that our neighbors across the Bay could use with pride, and it would be a tribute to sustainability.

      But not George Bush.  For God's sake, no.  We've taken enough of his shit for the past two terms, and it would be better to flush all of it to the deepest bowels of Hell.  Not into San Francisco Bay.  

      •  Good point, didn't think about the curse (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:

        Wonder how well it would go over to rename all the outhouses in the national parks from latrines to "GW"s or all the porta-johns to Port-a-George's?

        •  no, no, a thousand times, no. (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:

          We want our sanitation infrastructure to work the way it's designed.

          We don't want it to crap out when it's needed most.  

          And we sure don't need reminders of Bush everytime we have to poop.

          Aside from which, in the future we're facing, much of that poop will have to be used as manure, to reconstitute soil in order to facilitate sustainable agriculture.  (You never plant edible crops on human-manured soil until it's rested for a few seasons to let all the pathogens break down, but anyway...)

          I don't think anything should be memorialized to Bush, except possibly a wing or a cellblock in a Federal penitentiary.  That would be a worthy message to send.  

  •  Glad to see you back Welshman. (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Welshman, truong son traveler, mpwife

    I caught this in the NYT yesterday and promptly sent the link to some of my more uncouth friends.
    Kudos for a plan to make this movement international in scope. One might worry that aging infrastructure could keep up with the demand though.

  •  Remember the old bumper sticker? (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Welshman, G2geek, mpwife

    "Flush twice.  It's a long way to Washington."

    I cracked up when I caught this news story the first time.  How appropriate, I thought.  But then, given Bush's 23% approval rating, I realized that if only 23% of the workers at the sewage plant were GWB fans, that means that a very high percentage of the workers there probably are not GWB fans, and therefore it might go rather hard on them to have to work at a place named after George W. Bush.

    I used to be in the US Navy.  The Navy has a super-carrier named The Ronald Reagan.  It would gall me no end to have been assigned duty aboard that boat.

    If we're not willing to boldly refute the lies, the lies will stand as truth. (-6.75, -6.72)

    by cn4st4datrees on Thu Jun 26, 2008 at 06:43:36 AM PDT

  •  don't you mean... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Welshman, mpwife

    going to the jindal?
    tung sol

    'cause you're the green manalishi with the two prong crown--Peter Green, Green Manalishi

    by tung sol on Thu Jun 26, 2008 at 06:47:14 AM PDT

  •  I just have to recommend (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    bliss149, Welshman, mpwife

    this diary.  I can think of fewer more appropriate ways to commemorate GDub's presidency than naming a sewer system after him (ok, I know, sewage treatment plant).

    BTW, good to see you here, Welshman.

    obama muslim More wars; fewer jobs; vote Republican -- and get off my lawn!

    by middleagedhousewife on Thu Jun 26, 2008 at 06:47:21 AM PDT

  •  Swill idea! (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Welshman, Overseas

    Somebody alert the OND punsters.
    In solid(waste)arity, I will add the George W. Bush Memorial Septic Tank, in honor of His Offalness. (no offense to innocent innards).
    Nice to see you, welshman.

  •  At last! (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    bliss149, Welshman

    An honor and an edifice perfectly matching the qualities and talents of little Georgie Bushie.

    Thanks for a good laugh, Welshman. Glad to see you, as you are missed in the long interludes of silence.

    Of course, if you want to ratchet up your mojo, you could always republish the Shottle diary.

    The degree to which you resist injustice is the degree to which you are free. -- Utah Phillips

    by Mnemosyne on Thu Jun 26, 2008 at 07:15:46 PM PDT

  •  One Counterpoint... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    raatz, truong son traveler

    My wife actually works for the SF Water and Sewer Dept.  - Most of the PUC workers don't want to have to work somewhere named after the Turd-In-Chief Commander-Guy. Other than that, she likes the thought behind the movement, no pun intended...ok maybe.

    Also, the comments about the plant starting to fail after being named for GWB does scare me a bit!

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag, carrying a cross." - Sinclair Lewis

    by bayareadem on Thu Jun 26, 2008 at 09:09:24 PM PDT

  •  well done! (0+ / 0-)

    For a number of reasons, one cannot help but think of this passage written by another satirist from over there somewhere:

    I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of nature; which was no wonder, it being almost two days since I had last disburdened myself. I was under great difficulties between urgency and shame.  The best expedient I could think of, was to creep into my house, which I accordingly did; and shutting the gate after me, I went as far as the length of my chain would suffer, and discharged my body of that uneasy load.  But this was the only time I was ever guilty of so uncleanly an action; for which I cannot but hope the candid reader will give some allowance, after he has maturely and impartially considered my case, and the distress I was in.
                                      -- Jonathan Swift, Gulliver's Travels, 1726

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