It’s hot here in Gomorrah today, so my friends and I languish out on the balcony of my 700-square-foot loft apartment while the sounds of All Things Considered waft through the energy-efficient windows. My friends and I play "Rock, Paper, Scissors" to pass the time. As my fist tightens to form the symbolic fist of a "rock", I said to my friends,
"Hey look guys I’m playing BARACK, Paper, Scissors!"
But my silly joke veiled a grander concept: In light of the FISA bill, the Gen. Clark repudiation, the public funds flop; the triumvirate of Hillary, Barack, and ecstasy at Unity, NH; the thunderous silence as the nation watches Colin Powell’s lips -- is Obama more like the Rock, the Paper, or the Scissors?
Initially, I argued that Barack would be the first Rock n Roll President, which allies him solidly with the Rock. Besides, how could the first Netroots darling candidate have any affinity to the wasteful has-been Paper? And as for Scissors... come on! Obama’s bridging gaps, not creating them!
I felt my logic was solid. But I did some reading, and found out that scissors are much more complicated than I had assumed. They accomplish their task by embracing the duality of opposing blades, much like Obama embraces within his own personage the duality of the many American struggles.
This is compelling stuff.
I’m beginning to wonder if my assumption was flawed. Is Obama the Rock or the Scissors? Or, perhaps, is he the blank Paper onto which we have projected our grandest hopes and aspirations?
Everyone talks about how Obama brings to mind Richie Sambora’s searing solo work on "Slippery When Wet," which gave a nation hope after the dismal nuclear winter of "7800° Fahrenheit." This makes me uncomfortable, because I feel that the comparison is somewhat obsequious, and confining in its Jerseyness.
Also, I once slapped Sambora in the goddamn face with a wet sock. I said, "That was for Ace Frehely!"
Chris Matthews would have agreed with me.