For us at the Washington Post there can be no greater thrill than the upcoming spectacle of Senator Barack Obama's upcoming visit to Iraq, Afghanistan, and various other places he has never been and does not know the language. The spotlight is upon him now and the chips are down and every tiny little thing he says must be nuanced exactly right, or it will prove to all the world that he is no better than a newbie in a Usenet group getting flamed until he says stuff about Hitler. We do not expect the Senator to do this, of course, but still. Here are only a few of the things that could go wrong.
- When intoroduced to PresidentJalal Talabani of Iraq, Mr. Obama might accidentally refer to the Iraqi government as "Idarat al-Shir al-Amrikiya," or "The American Administration of Evil." This is bound to cause grave offense.
- It is also not impossible that Senator Obama could refer to the Bush Administration as "Isabat al-Awghad al-Dawliyeen," or "The Gang of International Villains," as the Administration is commonly referred to by the insurgents. This, too, could prove highly embarrassing, especially if someone accidentally leaves the microphone on and it is played and replayed on websites with Arab writing on them.
- There is a subtle difference in inflection between "Alliek-Salaam-al Salaaadim" ("Peace be upon you and your people") and "Alliek-Salaam-el Salaahim" ("I fart in your ear"). Some say that while such an error by a visiting official is extremely unusual, it cannot be ruled out.
Nor can we rule out other conceivable Obama gaffes, such as doing a Hitler impression at the Brandenburg gate, telling French President Nicholas Sarkozy that his wife is "some piece of ass," and visiting the West Bank and telling Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas that "we gotta get some bulldozers in here and clean out all this crap."
Each and every one of the world's 8,456,835,276 people will keep careful watch on the Senator to make certain he does not make the smallest, most seemingly insignificant slip.
Isn't this exciting? It's better than "Ninja Warrior."