Even by the admittedly low journalistic aptitude of The Weekly Standard, Lou Aguilar's column "Real Men vote for McCain: Ten Reasons Why" is premised on something so shallow and absurd that one can't help but respond. Below is Aguilar's 10 ancillary, misleading, and occasionally, nonsensical reasons "real men" vote for McCain, and my subsequent responses.
Friday's online edition of The National Review featured a column by Lou Aguilar with the bold title: "Real Men Vote for McCain: Top 10 Reasons Why. "
Ripping this laughable magazine is almost as easy as convincing Britney Spears to consume the entire hotel mini bar, so I don't do it often. However, I felt that letting this unvarnished braggadocio unchallenged would be sparing readers insight into exactly how the conservative mind works when it goes about justifying their chosen candidate. Below are each of the 10 reasons, and my mostly pithy rebuttal to each:
1. Barack Obama spent 20 years sitting in church while his preacher and others bad-mouthed the United States of America. Navy pilot John McCain spent five years being tortured in the Hanoi Hilton, and refused a chance to walk out ahead of fellow POWs with more seniority.
Actually, Barack Obama spent parts of his last 20 years working in tough neighborhoods on the South Side of Chicago. He wasnt fortunate enough to be able to use nepotism, as John McCain did, to get promoted at the end of his active tenure in the Navy. Obama, on the other hand, had to pay his dues before Harvard. McCain's background is impressive no doubt, but Aguilar's description of Obama's is disingenuous at best.
2. Obama wants to cut and run from Iraq regardless of conditions on the ground or future consequences. McCain took on the president and secretary of defense in demanding more troops for Iraq, a policy that is inarguably winning the war. He also has two sons who fought in Iraq.
Right, Lou, the surge is "inarguably winning the war". Apparently he didn't read the progress report issued by the GAO a few weeks back. Even a year and a half after the surge, the only thing Iraqi politicians can agree on is that they don't want to sign a forces agreement with George W. Bush. So much for holding the leaders accountable for their ability to reconcile.
Just because internecine violence has mostly subsided, and MNC's now have free reign to procure lucrative oil contracts doesn't mean we are even close to winning the war. In fact, the war has already been lost, and a "real man" would get American troops out of harm's way instead of pursuing the arrogant, and futile goal of "winning".
3. McCain supports nuclear power. Obama backs wind energy.
This is precious. Aguilar manages to conveniently ignore the fact that extracting uranium pollutes greatly, nuclear power plants emit incredible amount of greenhouse gases, and disposing of nuclear waste is largely untenable. Apparently a "real man" has a wanton disregard for the environment.
4. Obama wants restrictive gun control because only economically depressed middle-Americans "cling to God and guns." McCain unwaveringly supports the Second Amendment.
Right, Lou. The same "restrictive gun control" that you decry really hindered Seung-Hui Cho from obtaining a firearm. How can a "real man" justify selling weapons to the mentally ill?
- McCain has deviated from his party’s conservative base on several occasions (McCain-Feingold Bill, Gang of 14, McCain-Kennedy Bill, opposition to torture). Obama has voted the left-wing line every single time, and been designated the most liberal Senator in Congress.
The notion that McCain has consistently deviated from his base is patently illusory. As the FISA bill proved last week, Democrats are more than happy to cave to the pressure from the Administration and abdicate on their principles to endorse the radical GOP agenda.
I hardly call the "gang of 14" bi-partisanship when all the Democrats got out of it was a promise by the Republicans to not disabuse one of the longest serving procedural matters in the Senate. If the Democrats think that allowing the gang of 14 to vote for "cloture" and therefore allow the Samuel Alito nomination to come the floor serves the interests of their constituents, they are more delusional than I thought.
As for Obama "voting the left wing line" every time, Aguilar must have missed his recent votes on FISA, or his proposal for an increase of funding for faith based groups. How convenient.
6. Obama is willing to meet with hostile state leaders like Ahmadinejad and Hugo Chavez without preconditions. McCain will set conditions first, talk later — maybe.
Aguilar is on solid ground here, given that not talking to Saddam Hussein in a diplomatic context prior to the invasion of Iraq really worked out so well. If anything, the bungled invasion of Iraq epitomizes the contrary of what Aguilar asserts in that aggressive diplomacy should be a sine qua non before every operation.
More over, George W. Bush's arguably only success dealing with hostile nations occurred after a concerted effort to engage the North Korean government through aggressive diplomacy. The struggle was hard, and the North Koreans undoubtedly reneged on certain parts of the agreement, but remaining steadfast through the rough times, and not reflexively abandoning ship after one setback, eventually provided a milieu in which the United States could achieve strategic objectives.
7. Obama is married to a bitter, angry lawyer who became "proud" of her country for the first time this year. McCain’s wife is a beer heiress who founded an organization to provide MASH-style units to disaster-torn world regions. Did I mention that she’s a beer heiress?
It's mind boggling how Aguilar can cast indiscriminate aspersions about Barack's spouse as if there is some empirical basis for it, aside from one remark. Given Michelle Obama's slim public record, how can he accuse of her in being "angry and bitter"?
It's also amusing how Aguilar completely glosses over the scandalous background Cindy McCain has. Ever heard of painkillers, Lou?
8. Obama supports higher taxes for a government-run nanny state that will coddle all Americans like babies. McCain trusts people to spend their less-taxed money however they wish.
Unfortunately for most of us, the only people worthy of McCain's trust are the wealthiest of our society. Economic inequality has skyrocketed in the last 8 years, and McCain's plan to enshrine the tax cuts of the Bush Administration would only perpetuate it. A combination of soaring food and energy prices has sapped the disposable income of many working Americans, greatly reducing their spending power.
If, as Aguilar puts it, Obama does indeed want a "government-run nanny state", I doubt that the 47 million Americans who are bereft of health insurance, or the litany of families devastated by no relief from soaring gas prices would complain. The simple difference between the candidates is that McCain wants to enrich the already affluent while Obama wants to buttress the middle class. Offering a windfall for Wall Street barons or providing health coverage to children. You know which one a "real man" would opt for.
- The name John McCain sounds like "John McClain," the action hero played by Bruce Willis in the manly Die Hard series. "Barack Obama" sounds like the kind of elitist villain John McClain has to outwit and defeat.
This reasoning is so ridiculous and unfounded that I laughed out loud when I initially read it. However, for the sake of rebuttal, let's for a second operate in the farcical framework that someones name has any link to their success as President.
In actuality, the name John connotes some of history's most deranged criminals. John Wilkes Boothe assassinated Lincoln. John Hinckley tried to take out Ronald Reagan. Hinckley also made the mistake of stalking and obsessing in a woman who prefers her own kind, Jodie Foster.
The name Barack, on the other hand, conjures little ignominy when compared to the deviants listed above. Take that Lou!
10. McCain is endorsed by Clint Eastwood, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Obama gets support from Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Oprah Winfrey, Tom Hanks, and every weenie in Hollywood. Plus, Susan Sarandon has vowed to leave the country if McCain gets elected. Case closed.
Another truly stupid reason to vote for a political candidate. Nonetheless, I will engage.
Recent months have proven Clint Eastwood to be an arrogant patrician. Every moment of Sylvester Stallone's life has shown him to be deficient in brain power (who else would get caught with HGH during a trip abroad?)
On the other hand, Leonardo DiCaprio has worked hard to help raise awareness about global warming. Oprah Winfrey built a school for indigent girls in Africa.
Given the above, if "Real men" support McCain, I sure as hell don't want to be one of those