I called in sick from work yesterday. I had PCSD. Post Convention Stress Disorder. After walking on air for an entire week, I'm back at home. There's cat puke and diarrhea on the floor. When I walk around, I end up with shredded toilet paper sticking to my feet (thanks to the kitten, who had a grand old time with a roll of TP while I was out). And when I walked into work Monday, my boss welcomed me back to what she called "build hell" (we've got a month to build several specialty clinics into the medical software we work with).
The same kitten who shredded the toilet paper got fixed Wednesday and managed to get her big plastic collar off. I tried putting it back on but there was no way. It's all I can manage to get her pain meds into her mouth. Add to that the laundry, the junk mail, the fridge of rotten produce, the fruit flies, the unpacking, and everything else. Last week was simply magical. Where did it all go?? I think I need to join a PCSD support group.
Unrelated to this diary topic, I want to say a big thanks to Mike Stark and to everyone else who commented, rec'd, or bought a T-shirt to help me get rid of my huge stockpile of anti-McCain shirts. The shirts are available here (I've got 40 left) and I've also got a bunch of NN08 unofficial commemorative shirts that say "We Messed with Texas."
Drawing by The Gryffin. Email me if you want one.
I know there have been plenty of "thank you Gina" diaries but I need to add my voice to that loud chorus. Three conventions have one by one changed my life.
YearlyKos 2006
When YearlyKos was first announced, I scoffed at the idea of spending my vacation indoors listening to politicians talk. There was no way. I spend the other 51 weeks of the year sitting on my butt in front of a computer and I was determined to do something active on vacation. I stood fast by that until I met Markos on his book tour.
Telling Markos that there was no way in hell I would go to the convention to his face wasn't easy. After that, my mind gradually began to change. Then the announcements started coming out, one by one, of the celebs who would be in attendance. Michael Schiavo was the one who did it for me. I really wanted to meet him. There wasn't much I could possibly say to him, but I figured he needed a good hug and I was determined to go give it to him.
At the same time, my diaries had been getting more attention on the site and I realized that I liked writing and I wanted to do it for a career. Well, how does someone become a writer as a career? I had no idea. But I figured step one was going to YearlyKos and networking my little (ok, big) butt off. I canceled a vacation I had already planned the same week as YK06, forfeiting the entire cost of it, and re-routed my flight to Vegas. Then Cedwyn made the decision to join me and with that a tradition and a very wonderful friendship was born.
The first year, I made what felt like a thousand friends. I don't know about everyone else on this site - surely some of you guys are the types who have always had a bunch of friends wherever you go - but making friends is something I've struggled with my whole life. I'm a bit more serious, more academic, and - I'll say it - more nerdy than most. In high school, I was on the math team. "Cool" is something I've never been.
Life (thank goodness) isn't high school and I'm not a nerd anymore. Fortunately, I found a career where brains are rewarded and being good at your job makes you friends because everyone needs your help. Even if I'm not a nerd, the truth is that many people bore me. It's nothing against them, but I just don't find shallow conversation 24/7 fulfilling. I like the intelligent debate we engage in on DailyKos. (I also like that we're not so stuffy and full of ourselves that we don't know how to laugh at a good dick joke.)
For someone who's had to really search to find friends my whole life, YearlyKos was unbelievable. All of a sudden I was presented with hundreds or even thousands of people I instantly clicked with. You guys became my family. All of a sudden, the online conversations and friendships that had sustained me for the past year moved offline too. At a certain point I realized that my speed dial had as many dKos handles as names.
The PCSD that year was bad. Really bad. I went back to a job I hated - and my goal of launching a writing career from YearlyKos was basically a failure - and the job just got worse. I was being abused by a supervisor and my boss didn't believe me. Strangely, I got a 50% raise a few weeks after YearlyKos and then I got fired 2 mos after that. Go figure. My DailyKos family really carried me through that difficult time, much more than my "real" family did.
YearlyKos 2007
Gina and her board might think they are the only ones who spend the entire year prepping for the convention. They have no idea. Of course the rest of us don't work as hard as them, but convention prep starts early for us too. Shortly after arriving home from YK06, I started dreaming about having a food panel. I remember watching the Tester Senate race, hoping he would win so he could be a panelist. By December, we already had panelists, etc, lined up (although Kerry Trueman and Pontificator deserve the credit there). We didn't get Tester but we had a fantastic line-up all the same.
By January or so, we were already planning room mates. Cedwyn envisioned a cross country road trip with BarbinMD and me if I could get my tush out to Maryland in time for it. The road trip never happened, but it goes to show how long before the convention we started our planning! There were big debates about whether or not to get a smoking room (I was a major NO vote on that). I met Gloriana Christmas Day (she brought me homemade bagels!!) and before long she was added as a room mate.
YearlyKos 2007 was an amazing reunion with old friends as well as a memorable introduction to new friends. Unlike 2006, my idea of using YearlyKos to build a new career actually started working. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm being self-centered or kissing asses, or whatever, because that's not how it all happened. It was far more real and genuine than that. The people who I met who have become valuable career connections are also friends. In fact, they are friends before they are "connections" in my book, and I'd gladly have them as friends even if I had no career aspirations whatsoever.
That said... 2007 was amazing. Marion Nestle, the Goddess of Food Politics (who wrote the book Food Politics) came to speak on our panel. The night before the panel, I was in Kerry Trueman's hotel room and Marion called her cell. That evolved into dinner plans and I was kind of in shock that it was all really happening but determined to ride it out until someone pinched me and I woke up. I actually got to go to dinner with one of my biggest heroes, Marion Nestle. Not only that, but she was nice. For such a "big name," you'll never meet anyone with more humility and charm.
The other major milestone in my life came as I wandered the exhibit hall. As I passed the Ig Publishing table, I stopped to chat with Elizabeth and Robert. Ig Publishing is Jeffrey Feldman and Ilona's publisher. I still dreamed of writing a book and after following all of the conventional advice about finding an agent or a publisher, I'd found neither. Elizabeth told me to send her a proposal. I did, and a few months later, I had a book deal. Without YearlyKos, I am confident that would never have happened.
Netroots Nation
I am honestly still in shock after this past convention. Shock. In a very good way. The friendships now are years old and deeper than ever. And, like years past, I made new friends this time around. Dadanation and OkieByAccident, to name a few. And I met online friends in person for the first time, like Renaissance Grrrl. No surprise that she's every bit as sweet and amazing in person as she is on the Internets.
But there's more than just the friendships. We're building an organized left. We really are. We're living out what is expressed in Crashing the Gates. It's more than just gaining access to powerful Washington leaders. We're building an infrastructure.
I find it shocking (and wonderful) that I can approach Cliff Schechter, Bill Scher, or Atrios and they recognize me (or at least my name) and say hi. Sam Seder addressed me by name too but I think he was reading my name tag. Still, what a thrill to finally meet him! But that's only part of it.
As Kossacks, we've got more media access now than ever. I actually got a press pass into an international biotech convention this year by applying as a writer for DailyKos. I was kind of shocked that it actually worked. I was afraid they would try to check it with Markos to see if I really wrote for them and that Markos would say "who?" He might be familiar with OrangeClouds, but who the hell is Jill?
This time around, I met up with Ronnie Cummins from the Organic Consumers Association. I hadn't approached him before because I was intimidated. OCA is HUGE. But Ronnie's one of us. I had no reason to be intimidated. I'm still in awe of his accomplishments but I now consider him a friend. Ronnie's built up one hell of an organization, including an online forum with over 4000 users and a huge mailing list. By meeting up with people like him, we're making friends and building a movement at the same time.
There's a lot more to say about this convention but I'm a bit shy about anything that can be considered bragging so I don't really know how to put it all into words. I've started getting invited to speaking engagements. Me? Speak? Really? What a dream come true. And I managed to get a piece up on Commondreams.org this week (with Ronnie's help). There's no rec button there so I can't tell how many people read it, but I got a TON of hits on my new blog from there.
And this is really what Markos and Jerome talk about in Crashing the Gates. The right takes care of its own. They make sure their up and comers get titles and internships and connections. We're doing this too now. And we're doing it in a way that makes effective use of all of the latest technology -- something the right hasn't quite mastered yet.
So it was more than just a good time that I was reeling from when I got home. It was the realization that I'm a part of something REALLY, REALLY BIG. It's amazing and wonderful that changing the world and building a progressive majority could be this fun!
But now I'm home, suffering from PCSD. The movement building will continue, but at a much more subdued pace. I've got my book coming out in June, but I still have to finish writing the darn thing. I've got a thousand of the best friends ever, but only a few live in my city where I can see them regularly. And then there's the rest of my life that I have to face... the cat puke on the floor, the red blinking light nagging me to listen to my voicemails at work, etc. Netroots Nation is the highlight of my entire year, but it just makes facing the real world that much harder.