I figure with everyone throwing around their picks for Obama's currently vacant VP slot, I'd toss my name into the ring as well.
Not for Obama, though.
For McCain.
I believe that I and I alone possess the forbearance, proficiency, poise, and other impressive words to create the winning combination with Mr. McCain.
I'm also attracted to vast amounts of power, and I'm not afraid to use it.
A brief look at my stances should convince even the most skeptical of liberals, as well as the most liberal of skeptics. I simultaneously hold all popular viewpoints and stances, which should give me broad appeal to people from all walks of life.
For example, I am staunchly anti-crime, and believe that all crime should be illegal. However, crimes of necessity (or "passion") should be made retroactively legal. This would include any crimes committed by the President, the Vice President (score!), anyone we like and anyone who we owe money to.
Also, I am pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and 100% for single-payer healthcare.
In addition, I am pro-life, anti-gay marriage, and 100% against single-payer healthcare. This clearly shows my willingness to compromise, reach across the aisle, work with my opponents and appeal to the constituents.
I also bring a lot of foreign policy experience to complement McCain's foreign policy experience. I fully support his focus on the Iraq / Pakistan border, and believe that to be a central point in our fight against the terrorists, who hate our freedoms (or "passion").
The only real problem with this plan (aside from me having no political experience, low name recognition even amongst my family and friends, some skeletons in my closet and possibly under my bed, a strong desire to sit and do nothing, and intensely disliking John McCain) is that I am not old enough (a ripe and robust 27).
Luckily, after we get elected, John and I can just make sure we retroactively make it OK for me to be Vice President.
So, as soon as McCain's grandkids show him how to turn on the computer and navigate to this site, he and I can get busy.