I win the Internets.
For I have the secret to taming the media hydra.
I won't even tease you with it.
Okay, maybe just a little bit...
Journey Into the Angry and Emotional World of Joe Klein
It just gets worse.
By Peter Wehner
Jeffrey Goldberg of The Atlantic interviewed Time's Joe Klein about, among other things, Klein's recent assertion that Jewish neoconservatives have "divided loyalties." The interview is quite a journey into the angry and emotional world of Joe Klein. Klein says, for example, that he is "very, very angry" at the Jewish blogosphere. When asked about why he puts the adjective "Jewish" in front of the word "neocons," Klein blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blabbity fucking blah.
"I'm certainly not going to back down," declares Joe the Intrepid.
Wait, wait, I'm not done -- it gets better!
The article quoted above comes from National Review Online.
And so, to recap, we have:
- The NRO...
- ...devoting bandwidth to an escalating pissing match between Joe Klein and...
- ...Jonah Goldberg!!!
This is like watching Joe Lieberman hold Dick Cheney down while Kim Jong-Il farts in his face.
No, it's like watching Mumm-Ra the Ever-Living, Omarosa and Simon Cowell throwing the molten feces of Cthulhu at each other.
And if this happens naturally, it is by definition possible to create it in a laboratory!
What I'm envisioning here is not breakfast in bed for 400,000, but a coordinated effort to turn the grossest offenders in the traditional and right-wing media against each other, and embroil them in pissing matches so furious and all-consuming that they will wake up on November 5th and realize they completely forgot that there was an election.
Think about it.
We can tell Bill O'Reilly that Hannity is spreading rumors that he once sold Mary Kay Cosmetics door to door, and get John Gibson to cover the ensuing fireworks.
We can send Brit Hume a bouquet of dead flowers with a card that reads, "Hope you get eyeball cancer, love, Joe Scarborough," and then send an anonymous tip to Wolf Blitzer to be there when it arrives.
Who's in?