Most of us will never know what our last meal will be when we eat it. I'm a bit of a food guy -- not in the sense that I won't eat anything that hasn't been shipped overnight from some exotic locale, but in the sense that I enjoy tasty foods -- so this concept has always interested me.
NOTE: This is not to be construed as an endorsement or as a condemnation of capital punishment as a concept. We can talk about that some other time if you like, but this is just for fun.
According to the almighty Wiki, the custom of giving a person condemned to death a last meal has been observed by the ancient Greeks, Chinese, Egyptians and Romans.
In the Dark Ages of Europe, accepting food from one's host was a symbolic social act -- a way of making peace with one's host. If a prisoner ate food given to him freely, then his ghost would not come back to haunt the judge, the executioner or any member of the tomato-throwing mob of witnesses who showed up because television had not yet been invented.
Of the states of the Union that allow capital punishment, there are different laws and statutes applied to what is referred to euphamistically as the "special meal." Alcohol and tobacco are typically denied, as are exotic, hard-to-attain foods (imported from some far-flung country).
Texas, for example, limits the foods to those that can be obtained within the prison system. Last meals offered to inmates in Florida are limited to $40 or less -- cheapskates. And Maryland callously denies their convicted criminals any last meal whatsoever! (No doubt the result of some right-wing letter-writing campaign).
Some famous last meal requests include:
Adolph Eichmann: This Nazi requested a bottle of Carmel, which is, oddly enough, produced in Israel. He drank half the bottle before he was hanged.
John Wayne Gacy: 12 deep-fried shrimp, french fries, a bucket of Colonel's chicken and 1 pound of strawberries.
William Bonin "The Freeway Killer": Asked for 15 cans of Coke, two large pepperoni and sausage pizzas and three chocolate ice creams.
Victor Figuer: Asked for a single olive with the pit still inside. The suit he was buried in contained this pit, presumably placed in a pocket by a family member.
Timothy McVeigh: Two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Philip Workman: Denied his last meal, instead requesting that a vegetarian pizza be given to a homeless person in the town where he committed his crime. The request was denied. After his execution, hundreds of people sent vegetarian pizzas to homeless shelters across his state.
Robert Alton Harris: Before going to San Quentin's gas chamber, this man asked for and received a 21-piece chicken dinner from KFC, two large Domino's pizzas, a bag of jelly beans, a six-pack of Pepsi and a pack of Camels.
And now, I present my last meal:
I think I would be nervous, and when I'm nervous, I want to eat things that are crispy. So for my main course, I would have a fillet of pan-seared salmon with a crunchy skin on one side.
To stall for time, I'd ask for another food that takes a lot of time to finish eating -- a cluster of Alaskan king crab legs with butter. Don't forget the crab cracker and the tiny fork!
To remind me of home, I'd ask for something my Mom used to make -- On the side, fresh green beans cooked with peppered bacon.
For dessert, something that reminds me of happier times, a slice of tiramisu made with Tia Maria liqueur, just like the kind my wife and I had on our honeymoon in Jamaica.
And to steel me for the afterlife, I would also request a glass of Talisker single malt scotch, no ice, and time enough to savor it.
After all of that, bring it on!
What about you? Ever thought about this at all? What would yours be?