Intro: "John McCain is feeling lonely."
(Old timey music, sepia toned pictures from the Great Depression, banjo music)
"But what is an old man to do?"
"He can't use e-mail to contact anyone."
"He doesn't know how."
"It's very sad."
"He wants to be the Chief Executive of the United States of America, but he doesn't know how to use a computer."
"So Lonely."
(Juxtapose images of Obama in front of 200,000 in Berlin with image of McCain in a German Sausage restaurant, with identical date under each image).
(Juxtapose images of Obama giving speech in Minnesota before huge crowd with McCain alone in front of lime green background, looking washed out).
(Image of Phoenix fundraiser cancelled due to lack of attendance)
(Dried up tumbleweed rolls across screen and into the sunset)
"Buddy, can you spare a crowd?"
(banjo plucking out "Buddy, can you spare a dime?"